Found somewhere or other. I forget. It's me age, you know. Mrs. Brady originally comes from Vizland, a place where the Righteous dare not tread.The Monsters in government really have nothing much to do, so they plan to send those in the 70-90 age group off to do jury service.
Fine with me. The way I smoke and drink, it would be illegal for me to get that old. They won't believe I'm still alive even if I am.
It does conjure up a great image though. Imagine the contents of the nursing home discharged into the jury box.
Judge: Silence in court.
Juror 1: What's 'e saying?
Juror 2: 'e says shut yer gob.
Juror 3; Eh?
Judge: Silence!
Juror 4: Who's that nice young man in the glass box?
Juror 5: That's the rapist.
Judge (turning purple) Silence! may I remind you that the accused is innocent until proven guilty?
Juror 3: Eh?
Juror 6: Innocent, eh? They all say that you know. All them rapists.
Juror 7: He looks a bit shifty to me. What's that in his trousers?
Juror 1: What's 'e saying?
Judge: SILENCE. Please?
Juror 8: There's no need to shout.
Juror 3: Eh? What's everyone whispering about?
Juror 4: Never mind. We'll tell you when to vote 'guilty'.
Juror 9: When do we get our tea?
Juror 10: Tea be buggered. Where's the gin?
Judge: Will you be quiet?
Juror 11: I haven't said a word. He doesn't half go on, doesn't he? On and on and on. You'd think he was in charge or something.
Juror 4: He is in charge. He's the Beak.
Juror 7: No, you silly old bat. That's a magistrate. This man is one of those things with a wig on.
Juror 12: Des O'Connor?
Judge: (in tears). Please be quiet. Please, for God's sake, stop talking.
Juror 3: Eh?
Juror 1: We ought to be more respectful when he asks us to be quiet, you know.
Juror 6: Doris is right. 'e's an old man, after all.
It would really be worth being on that jury.
13 comments:
Until ultimately....
Judge: "Would the accused like to say anything to the Court before sentencing?"
Accused: "Yes. When I'm not out head-butting babies and raping people, I tend war graves, sing Irish ballads and adopt kittens."
The Jury: "Arrrrgh, isn't he sweet? Not guilty."
Isn't that a bit Ageist? Who do I denounce you to, Hariet Harman or Trevor Phillips?
Simply outstanding!
The rights of older people to play a full part in civic life should take priority over the risk that they will fall asleep or forget the evidence, a consultation paper said
SO! They now come out with it in public ""Equality" is more important than a fair trial".
Accused: "I am not accepting the verdict, That old git was asleep for half the trial!"
Judge: "Six months longer for "ageism".
Not possible???
Aye fucking RIGHT!
Interesting. A common complaint about juries is that they include people who are too young, with too little life experience to have good judgment. I think there's something to be said for that. Suppose you're accused of a non-crime like a smoking ban violation? A jury of young people fresh out of school is surely very likely to side with the state, whereas a jury of old people might have the moral strength to acquit on the grounds that the law is wrong.
Aye Vladimir, "I am 90, and smoked 200 Capstains per day since I was 12, and I am still fit.So sod the smoking ban."
Good point.
This is what they spend their money on:-
2010 Delegates 225 ( Registered so far )
http://www.uknscc.org/2010_UKNSCC/delegate_list/delegate_list.html
2009 Delegates 846
http://www.uknscc.org/2009_UKNSCC/delegate_list/delegate_list.html
2008 Delegates 759
http://www.uknscc.org/2008_UKNSCC/delegate_list/delegate_list.html
2007 Delegates 603
http://www.uknscc.org/2007_UKNSCC/delegates.html
2006 Delegates 523
http://www.uknscc.org/2006_UKNSCC/delegates.html
2005 Delegates 585
http://www.uknscc.org/2005_UKNSCC/delegates.html
Hah! That's brilliant L-I.
Thanks for the chuckle
That put a grin on my face all day long
You do have a way with words
Sliante
Tea, snot, phlegm etc all over my brand new lop tap. Sod you LI.
Further -
Juror 7: Damn, I've dropped a stitch.
Juror 11: uh-oh. Nurse!
Juror 3: Is he the judge? He looks far too young.
Judge: [head hits desk] I hate this government.
It can be a god thing and a bad thing. On the good side, they won't be influenced by modern PC nonsense and the public gallery, if available, will be packed for the show.
On the negative side, they're more likely to nod off or forget the evidence.
I think jurors can be fined for nodding off. Hmm, I smell a revenue generator...
Nathan - I'll have to put up a disclaimer. And sell perspex screen shields.
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