I forgot to put a title.

Today I received the final, absolute last chance, seriously we mean it, last chance to fix any remaining errors in Jessica's Trap before it goes to print. I have read this damn story so many times now it's hard to keep my eyes on the screen. Besides, I worked out a perfectly plausible way to have a zombie capable of thought and reason and I want to do that now.

The 'Ghosthunter' dystopia is still languishing too, but that's because every time I think up a new means to oppress the imaginary world, our government uses the same thing on the real world. I mean, they're after caffeine now. Even I hadn't thought of that one yet, and if you read the collection of shorts (PDF is free, I haven't got it on Kindle yet) you'll know I'm capable of thinking some horrible things.

Instead I have to pick through every comma and apostrophe one last time, and if I miss a mistake I can't fix it later. It's going to take a while. This is just the first book. It's going to happen every time. No wonder people laugh at writers, we all think it's going to be an easy life but it's hell out there in Grammarland.

Anyway, no time to boost my blood pressure with the newspapers tonight. Instead, here are some of the interesting things I've read while avoiding doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

A new (to me anyway) blog on politics by Bruce, which will be worth revisiting.

Mummylonglegs deals with the Girl with the Portland Tattoo in fine style.

JuliaM reports on the medic who thinks hospital food shouldn't be quite so edible. Think of the savings if nobody ate anything, and think of the instant obesity cure it would mean!

Frank Davis finds a non-scientist claiming that scientists are not scientists unless they agree with him.

Velvet Glove, Iron Fist notes a rare outbreak of reality at the BBC. Savour it, it won't last. Follow the link and you'll see the most amazing comment ever:

72. vivian hankey
15th February 2011 - 13:46

the thing is the drinkers of this country my be drinking less but the reason that more drinkers are being treated for alcohol poisoning is not because of how much drinkers are drinking but because of the strength of the drink especially the beer if the makers made beer of a strength comparable with that that was made in the mid 1960s the pubs would not have closed like they have

Leave aside the definitive proof that prohibitionists know nothing of grammar and punctuation, and revel in the knowledge that it's the strength of modern beer that is now the cause of pub closures. The elephant has just been joined by a walrus, a blue whale and a flock of penguins. This commenter has not yet noticed.

The Pub Curmudgeon tells of a pub that flaunts the smoking ban on its last day open. As he says, what can they do, shut it down? Again, he has a commenter that claims the smoky atmosphere on that last day was the reason smoking was banned, ignoring the detail that the pub was at its busiest on closing day when the smoking ban was ignored and that the pub, like too many others, is now closed. Space for some polar bears in that room, maybe?

Dick Puddlecote reports on a letter we should all copy to our MPs, adjusted for profession and circumstance. Like his correspondent, I will earn no more until after April 5th because I will not pay higher rate tax. I've reached my limit for this tax year.

Subrosa points out why the NHS would like to set our old people adrift on ice floes.

Man Widdicombe discovers that smoking is dangerous... if you use a blowtorch to light it, and there's a leaking gas cylinder nearby. From the referenced article -

Councillor Arshid Mahmood said: "The defendant did not heed the warnings that health and safety officers had given him in an effort to assist the company.

Yes, you read it right. His name is Arsehead. What? Something else? Ah, yes, the 'efforts to assist the company'. What a wonderfully Soviet phrase that is.

Pity they didn't assist the company with gas cylinder security rather than smoking prevention, which is the sort of assistance a Shisha bar could do without, really.

Anyway, back to picking faults in my own work. As if there would be any!