Friday, 11 February 2011


I found this page via Frank's place and left this comment:

All this ‘I hate smokers’ and ‘I hate the smell’…

Why don’t you all just post ‘I hate’ and leave it at that? Because there’s really nothing more to you, is there? All you have are hate and spite.

You talk of ‘smokers’ as if they are another species so that you can indulge your fantasy of the mass murder of human beings. Why? Because they do something you don’t do. That’s all there is to it, when you look at it. It’s an excuse to hate. No more.

You are the ones who would love to shepherd people into gas chambers and then fight over who gets to throw the switch. You are Pol Pot’s generals, Hitler’s Gestapo, Kim Jong-Il’s secret police. You delight in causing suffering to others. You orgasm over the deaths of fellow humans.

You are the ones who talk of ‘diversity’ but call for the death of any who do not conform to your way of life. You are the ones who will enforce the blue overalls of Communist China upon the rest of the population. You are the ones who will seek out and report any who do not follow the State Formula. You are evil.

Don’t say it’s ‘the law’. Don’t say ‘I have to, the State says so’. You want to see the face of totalitarianism? Look in a mirror. See that face? That’s the face of the one who enforces these draconian rules. Without you, the fascists cannot win. They rely on you and you are happy to facilitate their war on freedom.

Next you will state that you hate fat people. Then you will state that you hate people who use too much salt. Then you will hate people who drive cars. You will hate whoever you are told to hate because hate is all you have.

I don’t hate you. Neither do I feel sorry for you. You are pathetic. You have no mind of your own. All you are is an empty vessel looking for someone to hate so you can feel better about the nothing in your life. Well, I smoke. Hate me. Give yourself heart stress. Give yourself high blood pressure. I’m going to do more than laugh at you.

I am going to scare you to death. Oh, I won’t hit you or attack you in any way. I won’t even raise my voice. i will use your hate against you and I will turn your beliefs into a weapon.

You want to believe that you can die from second hand smoke? If you meet me, I will convince you that you have ten minutes before the cancer takes hold and three weeks before you are dead. You will feel your breath shorten as I speak. Your chest will tighten and your pulse will race. Psychosomiasis is the name of the game and I can be very convincing indeed.

Will you die? Well, if you be wont to do so, then you had better do it and decrease the surplus population. I’m not going to kill you. The lies you have absorbed will do that. All I will do is direct them. Second and third hand smoke, all that high blood pressure hate, it’s a bomb in your brain. Smokers didn’t put it there, you did. I know how to light the fuse and I’m spreading the word.

Don’t like the attitude? It’s the one I’ve had to endure from you for years, so tough. This is your war so don’t complain when I play by your rules.

You wanted this. I didn’t. All I ever wanted was a beer and a smoke. I have no intention of ‘blowing smoke at non-smokers’ or any of the other made-up nonsense you use to justify your hate. I only ever wanted to be left alone.

You couldn’t allow that. You wanted a war. You want to hate me so go ahead. I will respond with the same compassion you have shown me. I will not respond with shouting and ‘all caps’ and hate. I will respond with casual explanation and cruel exploitation of your innate gullibility.

Your game. Your rules. Don’t get upset when we learn to play by them.

Compromise? We tried that, remember? You refused.


I await the trolls. I can't seem to keep them for long but maybe this time I'll get some good ones.

They should know about seventh hand smoke which travels down the internet from smokers' blogs. It's only fair to warn them. If they find their fingers cramping and their head feeling tight, they should be aware that this is the first sign of brain cancer from reading smokers' blogs and that it's hard to detect by normal scan. They will have about a month at most to troll so they'll need to work hard.

The particulates are absorbed by my computer and emitted by the reading computer, travelling as digitised information alongside the normal internet traffic and transformed back into real particles using the dust that accumulates inside every computer. No dust in yours? Better have a quick look just in case. One such particulate will kill them in a matter of weeks. The only way to avoid death is to take up smoking because that cancels out the competing e-particles.

So I have posted a disclaimer. Trolls may now all-cap the comments in the full knowledge of the risk they take. Have fun. Oh, and wipe the sweat from your brow. It preferentially absorbs nicotine from the air, everyone knows that. You don't want it in your eyes. I daren't tell you what it will do in there. It's horrible.

Michael J. McFadden authored 'Dissecting Antismokers' Brains'. I am not interested in understanding them. I tried that. They didn't even want to speak. All I want to do now is destroy them. With fear and as much pain as they can imagine.

Their game, their rules, their choice.


Anonymous said...

'The particulates are absorbed by my computer and emitted by the reading computer'.

Love it. For any American reader thinking of visiting the UK you are very welcome but I must tell you I have smoked everywhere in this island and every blade of grass, street and building is polluted by my third hand smoke. Enjoy.

Neal Asher said...

I'm guessing people who buy the 2nd hand and 3rd hand smoke nonsense are also into homeopathy.

Anonymous said...

ASH recently produced a report that, in essence, showed that exhaled smoke from a King Size accelerates towards the USA and kills someone in Wyoming. The effects of Superkings are even more devastating.

They haven't published yet because they're caught between not wanting to cause mass panic and their duty to disclose the truth.


Mongo said...

Hi LI,

A member of staff came back into the office the other day with his wife and new born child to show him off, before anyone could leave their desks he held up his hands and loudly requested,

"Could the smokers keep their distance please, we don`t want our son to be damaged".

suedenimon said...

Is it safe to comment? are there any non-smokers about? I can't stand being on the same internet connection with them stinking as they do of cheap deodorant made from the chemical residues of the oil barons wealth machines.
I too am blowing my secondhand smoke into my computers air intake deliberately to enhance the strength of the particulate stream, thanks for the heads up LI I would never have believed it possible unless I heard it from a scientist like yourself, but now I know...Bwahahahahaaaaaa!

Anonymous said...


I suspect that boy will be severely damaged by his weird parents and like them will lead a monastic boring and trully pointless life.

Woman on a Raft said...

are there any non-smokers about?

Yes, me. But I'm immune because I've got homeopathy.

Mongo said...


Knowing what I do about the parents, it`s guaranteed.

pasta n bovril at half time said...

Then they came for the pie eaters...

Amusing Bunni said...

These anti-smoking trolls should find better things to do, they are out of their depth.

I don't think that book will do well, it's title is a false's assumes they have brains to dissect!

Have a fun weekend, LI, with lots of smoky drinky!

Woodsy42 said...

"I'm guessing people who buy the 2nd hand and 3rd hand smoke nonsense are also into homeopathy. "

Actually if they were they might expect very light exposure to be a good thing, triggering immunity, thats essentially how homeopathy is supposed to work.

Mr A said...

And it has been demonstrated to work with exposure to passive smoke. One study (can't remember the authors now although I'm sure it is saved on many a hard drive of readers of this blog) clearly demonstrated that children who had been exposed to mild levels of second hand smoke had fewer breathing issues (asthma, allergies and the like) than those who had not. And let's not forget that of all the studies done into passive smoking, 80% show no effect on health, 10% show it is mildly harmful and 10% showed a PROTECTIVE effect. Then again, that's science and antis don't do science.

Far better to actually damage children's health by weakening their immune systems by planting "DON'T SMOKE NEAR CHILDREN!" messages on fag packets. After all, the expression of hate is ultimately far more important to them than the health of others, even children. After all, as we know, anti smokers are a paranoid, egocentic, misanthropic lot, and the expression of hate and the manipulation of the world to suit their own (and no-one else's) whims is all they care about.

Billy the Fish said...

Leggy, you gotta help me!

I'm a pc gamer (my vice; those e-e-evil violent video games - the ones that make kids stab each other) and I've just noticed that the character tasking me with missions in 'Mass Effect 2', is smoking a cigarette!

Obviously this virtual character is sending his virtual carcinogens down the interweb tubes and straight into my keyboard. Will I get fingertip cancer, Leggy? Or maybe my eyes will fall out as the image of a virtual fag glows on my monitor?

It's all to much. I think I'll go and calm down with an Old Port and a bottle of Hobgoblin...

Beware of Geeks bearing GIFs said...

Evening Mr LegIron,

So inspired by your posts that as an ex-smoker, I'm seriously looking at getting an e-cigarette - I just can't stand the fact that I could die (hopefully after a huge number of years time) without experiencing the sensation of smoking roast chicken flavoured e-cig water vapour!

I had a couple of rollups over the last few years (yes, Laphroaig was involved!) and I still loved it.

Anonymous said...

"Could the smokers keep their distance please, we don`t want our son to be damaged".
"Could you, new careful daddy, spare ten minutes to look up the ingredients in baby-wipes? Ultra soft, they have friendly elephants on the packet?
Well, you would see that Mr Elephant's wipes contain carefully-tested products to enhance skin absorbtion, along with a selection of carcinogens, nerve agents, and sterilants.
Don't have time, new dad, to research the chemicals which you apply to baby's skin? Never mind. The smokers didn't get near the baby, so all is well.

Pogo said...

@"Mr A"...

The study you're looking for is the W.H.O. sponsored Boffetta et al, 1998, "Multicenter case-control study of exposure to environmental tobacco smoke and lung cancer in Europe". for details.

ftumch said...

A related citation on pogo's link, from 2001:

"CONCLUSION: The average intake of toxic and genotoxic compounds due to ETS exposure is that low that it is difficult, if not impossible, to explain the increased risk of lung cancer as found in epidemiological studies. The uncertainty is further increased because the validity of epidemiological studies on passive smoking is limited severely by numerous bias and confounding factors which cannot be controlled for reliability. The question of whether or not ETS exposure is high enough to induce and/or promote the carcinogenic effects observed in epidemiological studies thus remains open, and the assumption of an increased risk of lung cancer due to ETS exposure is, at present, more a matter of opinion than of firm scientific evidence."

Antipholus Papps said...

Bravo! Rhetoric worthy of Wilhelm Reich himself!

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