Tuesday, 8 February 2011

A silly place.

Interesting news today.

The Mafia are going to make you a puree you can't refuse.

The idiots of Government are going to take ipods and iPhones and other toys off thugs...

...which means they'll just get another one the same way they got the first one.

And there is much outcry over the 'world's strongest beer' at £55 for 330 ml. It comes in at 41%, and I can get that by ordering Penderyn by post or picking up a bottle of Lagavulin - either will get me 750 ml for about £40. This beer is not a binge drinker's dream, it's just a novelty and it's certainly not cheap. I'll stick with the whisky. The best ones are half the price of this beer.

There's more, so much more, far more than anyone will ever believe when they read history a thousand years from now. Just as we find it hard to believe that Stonehenge was a community service rock-shifting program or that the Romans employed Celtic diversity outreach centurions.

Once this country was feared and respected worldwide. Now it is a laughing stock in alternate dimensions.

I can only modify the words of Monty Python's King Arthur and imagine them spoken by a grey-skinned alien who has spent a thousand years reaching this solar system.

"On second thoughts, let us not go to Earth. It is a silly place."

You know the first words any alien race is going to say to us? Not "Take me to your leader", not "Can I park here?", not "Have you got a light?"

The first words we will hear through those translation machines will be "What the fuck drugs are you people on - and can you spare any?"

Because when you look at it from a distance, we just cannot be sober.

4 comments:

Angry Exile said...

But the first words the aliens hear are likely to be 'You can't park that here.'

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

There was a report on Russia Today just recently. It said that the UK were having massive immigration problems due to our generous benefits system. It really was cringe-worthily accurate. How come the Russians even know we are in a mess?

suedenimon said...

AE ...or they could easily be OI You, cant you read ...keep off the grass!

slamlander said...

hehe Only in the UK ;)

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