Saturday, 29 January 2011

Zombie tale in progress.

I'm on a roll with this new zombie tale, so I'm going to tap keys until I wear the letters off them. It's a whole new species of zombie. I don't write bad guys you can kill by chucking a ring into a volcano, sticking a bit of wood into their chest or loading up with silver bullets. I'm also not going to let anyone kill something that's already dead.

So nothing from the news tonight, even though I actually bought a newspaper today. One that seemed to have required an entire tree for its production. It's not even Sunday but there were supplements within supplements to the point where I had trouble getting it home. I only wanted the free 'Guide to British Birds' and I'd have paid the £1.80 just for that bit. Although that contained bad news too - I lost a bet. I insisted the wren was the smallest British bird at the last Smoky-Drinky, against another's goldcrest, which I had never heard of. He was right, the goldcrest is a real bird and it is smaller. Damn.

If that's a Saturday paper, what are the Sundays like now? You must have to get a mobile library to carry the thing home and then hire people to summarise it for you. I'll stick to Internet news in future.

And now, back to the nuZombie...


subrosa said...

Good luck with the writing.

Even I could have told you it's a goldcrest. We occasionally get them in the garden and they're quite beautiful. They are significantly smaller than the wren.

Tip: Don't bet when under the influence of the water of life. :)

JuliaM said...

"... so I'm going to tap keys until I wear the letters off them. "

If you bought a Dell, that'll be a couple of months then. I'm missing the 'e' off my keyboard already, and the 'a' & 's' are starting to vanish.

I think I'm going to be buying a tin of white Humbrol enamel and a very, very thin brush from the Airfix stand at the nearest toy shop before long...

JuliaM said...

We have a tiny fir outside out front window (actually a Christmas tree that lived - one out of about 8 isn't bad) and we saw a goldcrest creeping through the branches about this time last year.

Tiny, charming little birds.

Amusing Bunni said...

Hi LI, I bet your zombie tale will be very frightening! A thing that will not die, wow, sounds like the demotards out here...hee hee. Enjoy your weekend, and don't get a hernia with the sunday paper.

Anonymous said...

ooh, we've got faulty brains!

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

"I'm also not going to let anyone kill something that's already dead."

But it can be destroyed. Even T-X's can be destroyed:


PS Anon @ 22.44 beat me to the good news that you have a faulty brain. I hope that knowledge is a great comfort to you.

Leg-iron said...

SR - I've never seen a goldcrest. There are a wide range of birds here because I feed them but the smallest one I've seen is a wren.

JuliaM - it is indeed a Dell but it's a desktop machine. I've been through a few keyboards so far.

Bunni - I didn't get a Sunday paper, I'm still working through Saturday's. One of these could last a month.

Leg-iron said...

Anon/DP - if they believe that meddling with mouse brains immediately translates into human activity (presumably using liquid nicotine instead of smoke) then I would suggest they are the ones with faulty brains.

Or indeed, since they are ASH drones, no brains at all. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest they need not worry about the zombie invasion because they have nothing the zombies want.

DP - they can be destroyed,yes, but it's not going to be anywhere near as easy as with the usual zombie.

Anonymous said...

I always liked the zombies in the game Quake 1. They were dead, thoroughly dead, and thus the standard killing techniques didn't work (sniping from a distance, say) and only woke them up and annoyed them. Even a blast from my all-time favourite weapon, the double-barrelled shotgun, only put them down for a short while (this was why it was my favourite; run round a corner and meet something nasty and a dose of the shottie would always give whatever was there pause, during which the intrepid hero had time to turn around and leg it to a place of concealment).

No, the way to sort out zombies was with explosives. At one point, standing on a precarious wall, angling the grenade aluncher up at 45 degrees and letting fly was the only way to blast some annoying but unreachable zombies; blow the lot of 'em to bits and hey presto a hidden door opens leading to more ammo. Which was neat, because just round the next doorway was a hideous great lightning-chucking bear of a thing.

So, zombies which cannot be killed, only explosively dismembered are a good idea. The only problem them is how to get rid of them; composting might work, but only if you can contain undead ambulatory compost heaps...

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