The government believe the extra tax on high strength beer has been so effective that they are planning to extend it. Let's not bother waiting to see any results, they aren't even pretending to research any more.
The government has already introduced a levy on ‘super-strength’
lager. Back in March the Chancellor, George Osborne, announced there
would be a 25% rise in the tax on beer containing more than 7.5%
alcohol, the equivalent of an extra 25p per can.
Yes, indeed he did. It came into effect about a month ago and that is plenty of time for the Puritans to decide it's a great idea and more than enough time for Elf-Lord Cameron of Fairyland to declare it a success. Alternatively, they'll need to move to the next stage before anyone notices this one hasn't done what it said on the tin.
And now the Department of Health has confirmed it would like to see that extended.
If anyone out there is surprised to hear that, you're on the wrong channel. The X-factor is more your scene. Back to sleep, drones.
According to Anne Milton, the minister for Public Health, the department
is in talks with the Treasury about the possibility of further levies,
arguing that super-strength taxes are a step in the right direction.
With a face like hers she could only be a Puritan. So, the 'measure to curb binge drinkers' has now become only a 'step in the right direction'. The pubcos will be falling over themselves to give a little more ground. Then a little more at the next step, and the next, and the next. How have these idiots managed to stay in business so far?
She highlighted that the alcohol industry had already reacted to the
levy on beer, cutting the alcohol strength to fall below the new duty
level, and suggested this would continue if extended to other forms of
Are you listening yet, CAMRA? Too late, there's nobody left to speak for you now. You already helped to ban us all from your pubs, remember? How about you wine drinkers who applauded the attack on those you consider plebian lager drinkers? Still happy with your work?
Currently, it is unclear exactly where the government will draw the
line on what constitutes a ‘strong’ wine. However, Milton did point out
that the average bottle of wine is now around 12.5% proof, compared to
9% back in the 1970s.
It is perfectly clear where they draw the line. It's the same as the smokers' line. Zero. They have no other target in mind. They will drive it down to lemonade and they've already started on sugar so don't get too used to that either.
Well, along with those dodgy Chinese smokes we will soon have dodgy industrial alcohol masquerading as gin. The criminal gangs are laughing at you, Tories. You are about to boost their economy to unprecedented levels while grinding every legal business into the dirt. What a wonderfully business-oriented government we have - if you're in the dodgy side of business, that is.
All that talk of liberty and freedom rings very hollow indeed now, Cameron. Cast-iron Dave is more of a Rusty Cam these days.
Here comes prohibition. Again. It will result in massively increased strain on the NHS while they deal with the results of moonshine and meths but it'll be a success by Cameron's fantasy definition of the word.
Just as the ban on guns means nobody gets shot, the ban on knives means nobody gets stabbed, so the ban on booze will mean nobody gets drunk.
Do you see a pattern yet, Dave? No? Well, maybe a few more bans will make it clear.
Somehow I doubt you'll ever see it.
Meanwhile, out here in the real world, the homebrews are firing up. Smoky-Drinky will continue, and it'll be even cheaper than it is now.
Cheers, Tory Party. We'll be sure to remind your wine-drinking voters of this at the next election.