Remember those spinning-plate acts where someone would have a load of plates spinning on upright poles and he had to run about keeping them all going before they fell? You rarely see that any more.
Which is a shame because that's the kind of skill the EU need at the moment. Little Sarky and the Merkin are trying to do it by threatening the plates to stay up. When that doesn't work, they replace the plates with EU plates that will do as they are damn well told.
The Greek PM promised his people a referendum. He was taken aside by the Management for a little chat and he dropped the referendum then resigned. An EU puppet gets his job. Berlusconi survived literally hundreds of scandals and investigations. One comment to the effect that Italians are worse off with the Euro and he's gone. Replaced by an EU puppet.
The Irish had a referendum on the EU treaty, came up with an answer that displeased the Management and had to do it all again. Once they came up with the right answer, no more referenda.
Now they're all going bust, one by one. France isn't in great shape either. Those spinning plates turned out not to have strong rods holding them up, in fact some didn't have rods at all and were floating there using no more than their belief in their own hovering capabilities. The act is over, the plates are falling and the plate-spinner can't run fast enough to keep them all going.
Today Mad Manuel Bareasso declared that if you are in the EU then you must join the Euro. Room for more on this sinking ship, it seems. Joining the Euro is like paying for membership of the Liberal Democrats. It would be quicker to just burn the money.
I have received an Email asking me to publicise a petition on the Government's "We can hear you, we're just not listening" site. It is a logical petition, it follows EU rules to the letter. We don't like the answer the Government came up with when they pretended to debate the possibility of an EU referendum in the UK so we want them to do it again. And keep doing it until they come up with the right answer. They should be used to that sort of thing by now.
The petition is the brainchild of haveyoursay.eu and the link to it is here.So far there are over 5600 names on it.
I don't think the Cameroid will let us have a referendum. Even if he wanted to, if he tried it the Clegg would throw a hissy fit and stomp out of the coagulation. Then he'd have to have an election and he's been such a dick he might not win. Promising a referendum won't help. He promised that last time - they all did - and when it came to discussing it they all voted it down on orders from all three party leaders. Nobody's going to believe that promise now.
What would he promise? A repeal of all the nannying and relaxation of the stranglehold of control? He promised that last time too and lied. Clegg held his Great Repeal Charade and ignored all the answers he didn't like. None of them have anything left to promise us at an election so they dare not have one now.
Suppose, though, he went ahead and did it. He might, not for us, but for his own bruised ego. Little Sarky has been going around the world insulting all the leaders he can find, and he started with the Cameroid. So Cameroid might hold a referendum just to stick two fingers up at France's pocket president.
Even then, even if he grew a pair and went ahead with it, the Management will call him in for a little chat and show him the heads of two recent PM's on platters, with an empty platter beside them bearing a little Union Flag.
Suppose he managed to get through it all, through the EU Management coup, through the red face and stomping feet of Clegg, and held a referendum. Suppose the result of that referendum was a resounding 'Out! Now!'
The EU would just make him do it again. And again, until he came up with the right answer.
We're just going to have to wait for it all to fall apart. Shouldn't be long now. At least we don't have the Euro.