Waking up cold.

It's colder and nastier than an EU directive out there. I fell asleep in my chair again, a common problem now that I live in a well insulated house and a side-effect of low blood pressure due to not reading the Daily Mail so far today. This time I woke up two hours after the central heating went off and have spent the last hour getting my core temperature back up to safe levels. One thing I will always remember from the bad days - keep warm by whatever means. If you have to suffer the indignity of having cardboard and newspaper stuffed into your clothes, swallow your pride and do it. Otherwise all you achieve is to look smart for your funeral.

These days I don't have to do that. Which is lucky because I haven't bought a newspaper since I discovered I can read most of them for free on the internet. Instead I have the heating on again, and a lot of thick clothes. Remember, this is a modern and well insulated house and I am in a position to turn the heating on with only a relatively small concern for the cost. I am certain this night will kill some pensioners and homeless people, and the Met Office 30-day forecast is this weather all the way. I have a suspicion it'll be snow from here to March.

If I make it to impoverished pensioner status, I will have the heating full-on all winter. When I can't pay for it, they'll send me to prison - where someone else will pay the heating bills and I can smoke indoors. And I'll have a Playstation for the first time in my life, something the pension would never allow me to have. Yep, that sounds like a plan. Loss of social life? Look out of the window. Do you really think I, as an old smoker, am likely to be visiting a pub? I'd have more social life in prison than I get now and to be brutally honest, pretty much the same chance of picking up a wench. The pubs are still bleating about 'prices'. They could have a free beer day tomorrow and I won't be there. It's not about the price. It never was. It's about the exclusion.

Outside is so hideously white I fully expect to see Council employees out applying dye to the snow to reflect ethnic quotas. I am surprised the Daily Mail commenters haven't applauded this weather because Asian gangs can't sneak up on us in the dark now. Perhaps they haven't thought of that yet. Too busy burning crosses, I suppose. I wonder, if I wore blackface paint, they might burn one outside my house. I could do with the extra heat.

I see the Climatologists are starting a slow U-turn with the news that, all of a sudden, global warming has slowed in the last decade. That's not what they were saying right up to last week. The interesting part is that it's pollution from man-driven industry that has caused the slowing in the global warming caused by... pollution from man-driven industry. They'll play the 'climate change' game back to 'The Ice Age Cometh' of the seventies and all their idiot drones will go along with it all and notice no problems at all. That hockey stick graph will be republished but upside down and you just know none of their drones will even remember. All we'll hear is 'Weather is not climate' repeated by descendants of those who once recited Latin mass without understanding what one word of it really meant. The mantra must be true because everyone says it. That's modern science.

There's more of that white fluffy global warming falling outside. What the hell. We have Polish bus drivers here. This won't faze them at all.

It might, however, wreck my circle-and-star of crocuses in the lawn. They aren't designed to grow in swamps.