Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Another smoky pub punished.

I mean, come on. One pub. Not even a whole one. Do all you antismokers, few as you are, really need every single bar in every single pub? If you weren't all so far up your own sphincters that it's amazing you can smell smoke anyway (that burning smell is your brain overheating under the strain, not tobacco smoke) you'd be able to relax for a moment and say 'Okay. Smokers can have one pub per town. One. The rest is ours'.

You can't, can you? Not one pub. Not even that shack behind the nuclear power station, overlooking the cyanide factory and the sewage works. You can't even let us have that.

It is not about the health of bar staff. It is not about the health of nonsmokers. It is not about second hand smoke. It is all about you waving your underdeveloped willies and claiming superhuman status. For you, it's all about being first in line for smart uniforms with shiny jackboots and caps with skulls on them. It's all about being the first to pull the lever on the gas chambers, isn't it? What, did you think the Nazis were some kind of demonic entities? No, they were people. Just like you. Exactly like you.

Spiteful, vicious, self-important, pathetic people whose only means of giving justification to their worthless existences is to demean someone else, for no real reason at all. No, 'I don't like the smell' is not a real reason. It is pathetic, childish whining. I don't like the smell of the cleaning fluid used on buses but I put up with it in order to get from one place to another. Without complaint. I don't like the smells coming out of burger joints but I have never called for them to be banned or controlled in any way. I just don't go in there. That's what adults do, antismokers. We don't need Mommy to chase away the nasty thing. We just avoid the nasty thing. It's not difficult for adults to do that.

Disgusting, depraved, degenerate people are the only kind who would seek to prevent others from enjoying a legal pastime in a place where it doesn't affect them in the slightest. You forced us outside of the places you never went into anyway, and then you complained that we're smoking outside. Is that something that comes from a rational mind?

Because of your evil minds, smokers will have to leave their credit cards inside restaurants if they go out for a smoke. Oh, you won't care. You will be delighted to pretend that only smokers do a runner without paying. You will be ecstatic that only smokers will be treated as criminals. it will not occur to you, not for one moment, that maybe, just maybe, those runners who 'went outside for a smoke' were not even smokers, but merely used it as a smokophobe-provided easy excuse to escape their bill. Would this not have happened in a nonsmoking world? When smokers could smoke indoors, did it never, ever happen? Really? Will smokers be happy to return to restaurants that clearly don't trust them? Will this have no effect on restaurants?

Another pub has been fined to death because of the Smoke Inquisition. The antismokers will cheer. They don't care if pubs close. To them, the loss of everything British is just fine as long as their little fairy-stroked nostril hairs are not inconvenienced.

Again, there is an appeal to pay the fine. This time there is no PayPal, just an address to send a cheque. Never send cash through the post, and if you send a postal order, remember to cross it (so it has to be paid into a bank with the recipient's name) and keep the counterfoil.

Antismokers, look at what you want. You want us thrown out of places you never wanted to visit anyway. You want us marginalised. You want to see us hounded and punished. You want us thrown out of places where consenting adults indulge in a legal pastime, away from all of you and causing none of you any inconvenience at all. You, many of you, want us beaten and killed.

Then look at what smokers want.

We want to be left alone. That's it. That is really the only thing we want.

So, go on, call me selfish.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

572 sheets for a meal?

No wonder they fucked off sharpish...

Leg-iron said...

I admit I smiled at the restaurant saying they had been ripped off...

Then again, they knew the likely cost when they went in. I wouldn't have.

JuliaM said...

Well, it'll stop people breeding criminals, after all.

Deaf criminals. Eh? How's that work, then?

We need to bring over Detective Carella quick!

PJH said...

"I don't like the smells coming out of burger joints but I have never called for them to be banned or controlled in any way. "

What?? You mean you didn't hear about this?

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Leg-iron

Too much time; too little to do.

The Leisure Revolution promised by the availability of cheap oil energy was scuppered by government which sucked up all the free time of those who had the mental capability to do something constructive with the once in sixty million years opportunity and subverted them to a life of self destruction at best or obsessive interference with the people who pay their salaries at worst. Those without the capacity to usefully use their free time the government made unemployed and unemployable.

All the good work of government is done by the first 1 or 2 million employees. Thereafter diminishing marginal returns set in. We are now well into negative territory.

A small but significant proportion of the 7 million army of state employees want to leave their mark on society; they do so much the same way a tom cat does. That nice Ms Arnott is merely spraying her urine over smokers to say ‘this is mine’. And is being paid between £60,000 and £70,000 per annum plus pension contribution by those self same smokers for the privilege, which I am sure she finds doubleplus amusing.

DP

PS we are running out of oil, but never mind there are plenty of unemployed to slave away pushing the cars of the mighty ...

Anonymous said...

PPS Make 1 July National Smoking Day

Mr A said...

Re: this post....

HERE F'in HERE!!!!

Well said that man!

Anonymous said...

I sometimes approach a state of relative happiness after a few drinks ... until I remember how much tax I've just paid on said drinks .. then I need another drink to forget ...

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