I mean, come on. One pub. Not even a whole one. Do all you antismokers, few as you are, really need every single bar in every single pub? If you weren't all so far up your own sphincters that it's amazing you can smell smoke anyway (that burning smell is your brain overheating under the strain, not tobacco smoke) you'd be able to relax for a moment and say 'Okay. Smokers can have one pub per town. One. The rest is ours'.
You can't, can you? Not one pub. Not even that shack behind the nuclear power station, overlooking the cyanide factory and the sewage works. You can't even let us have that.
It is not about the health of bar staff. It is not about the health of nonsmokers. It is not about second hand smoke. It is all about you waving your underdeveloped willies and claiming superhuman status. For you, it's all about being first in line for smart uniforms with shiny jackboots and caps with skulls on them. It's all about being the first to pull the lever on the gas chambers, isn't it? What, did you think the Nazis were some kind of demonic entities? No, they were people. Just like you. Exactly like you.
Spiteful, vicious, self-important, pathetic people whose only means of giving justification to their worthless existences is to demean someone else, for no real reason at all. No, 'I don't like the smell' is not a real reason. It is pathetic, childish whining. I don't like the smell of the cleaning fluid used on buses but I put up with it in order to get from one place to another. Without complaint. I don't like the smells coming out of burger joints but I have never called for them to be banned or controlled in any way. I just don't go in there. That's what adults do, antismokers. We don't need Mommy to chase away the nasty thing. We just avoid the nasty thing. It's not difficult for adults to do that.
Disgusting, depraved, degenerate people are the only kind who would seek to prevent others from enjoying a legal pastime in a place where it doesn't affect them in the slightest. You forced us outside of the places you never went into anyway, and then you complained that we're smoking outside. Is that something that comes from a rational mind?
Because of your evil minds, smokers will have to leave their credit cards inside restaurants if they go out for a smoke. Oh, you won't care. You will be delighted to pretend that only smokers do a runner without paying. You will be ecstatic that only smokers will be treated as criminals. it will not occur to you, not for one moment, that maybe, just maybe, those runners who 'went outside for a smoke' were not even smokers, but merely used it as a smokophobe-provided easy excuse to escape their bill. Would this not have happened in a nonsmoking world? When smokers could smoke indoors, did it never, ever happen? Really? Will smokers be happy to return to restaurants that clearly don't trust them? Will this have no effect on restaurants?
Another pub has been fined to death because of the Smoke Inquisition. The antismokers will cheer. They don't care if pubs close. To them, the loss of everything British is just fine as long as their little fairy-stroked nostril hairs are not inconvenienced.
Again, there is an appeal to pay the fine. This time there is no PayPal, just an address to send a cheque. Never send cash through the post, and if you send a postal order, remember to cross it (so it has to be paid into a bank with the recipient's name) and keep the counterfoil.
Antismokers, look at what you want. You want us thrown out of places you never wanted to visit anyway. You want us marginalised. You want to see us hounded and punished. You want us thrown out of places where consenting adults indulge in a legal pastime, away from all of you and causing none of you any inconvenience at all. You, many of you, want us beaten and killed.
Then look at what smokers want.
We want to be left alone. That's it. That is really the only thing we want.
So, go on, call me selfish.