Speculation. Probably.

All these bans are very specific and highly targeted. They are not the product of hysterical and stupid people (mostly) although hysterical and stupid people can be relied on to enact, support and enforce them.

The bans don't originate with bus stop antismoking harridans and checkout operators who won't sell booze to adults 'in case they give a sip to a baby'. Reminds me of the guy who used to pop up on Vic Reeves' Big Night Out carrying a doll. He'd ask if they had any booze for the baby, triggering one of the many catchphrases of the show - 'You can't give a baby booze!' I wonder if I could trigger the same words in an off licence? It has to be worth a try. In these humourless times, of course, it would more than likely trigger a call to the police. And then I'd be in clink while they tried to find the nonexistent baby I was trying to buy booze for. Fun is not allowed any more.

These bans start with people high up the scientific and medical hierarchy. So when you realise that they make little to no sense at all, you are forced to conclude that doctors are all like those portrayed in Carry On films, and all scientists are wild-haired Emmet Browns with a deep grasp of one specific subject but no idea of how it fits into the rest of reality.

They aren't all like that.

These are intelligent people, these ban originators. They know what they are doing, and what they are doing has little to nothing to do with your health.

What do nerve cells use as insulation? It's stuff called myelin. Look it up. It's made of fat. What are you to delete from your diet?

How do nerve cells communicate? The simple answer is 'electrical impulses' but there's more to it than that. The signal passes along the nerve fibre by pumping two metal ions into and out of the fibre, and that's what moves the signal. The ions are potassium and... sodium. Which you mostly get from salt. What are you to delete from your diet?

Deleting these things entirely from your diet will make you slow and stupid and quickly dead. Deleting them from a growing child's diet will produce a zombie incapable of thinking for itself, assuming the child even survives.

I know people who now try to eat an entirely fat-free diet. I have tried to persuade them that some fats are essential and that cholesterol should not be zero and that it's the artificial fats in their low-fat spreads they should be deleting, not the olive oil they used to use to fry things in. They respond with 'Oh, and have you had your cholesterol checked recently? What, you've never had it checked? Then what do you know about it?' These same people will soon eliminate salt from their diets.

I don't get my cholesterol or blood pressure checked because I'm not ill. I grew up in a time and place where nobody bothered the local GP unless there was something wrong with them. Nobody called the doctor for colds or flu or a dose of the squits, often not even for measles or chicken pox. They didn't have any cure for those things and still don't - so there was no point asking. Just get some calamine lotion or kaolin and morphine (is that still available?) and deal with it. Everyone knew that some things you just had to wait out.

The people with nothing wrong with them cost the NHS far more than smokers ever could.

Today was a bank holiday down south. I had forgotten and it took a while before I realised why nobody was answering their phone. So, since I couldn't progress the current project at all today, I watched some TV while working on that Dalek kit a friend sent me for my 50th birthday. He doesn't bother about all this 'conformity' bollocks either. He is one of those who can out-drink me, and he's fitter now than I have ever been.

The adverts were disturbing. Many are for mysterious pills that apparently everyone now needs just to get through the day. My medicine cabinet has aspirin and paracetamol in it and I think they're probably out of date. If I get heartburn, which is rare, I drink water. If I get a headache, also rare, I generally have a bit of a lie down, maybe a sleep, and it's gone. If I get chest pains I have a whisky or two and it's fixed. Those are rare too, ever since I left the nine-to-five world, the meetings, the admin and all the rest of the junk behind.

I smoke more, not less, than I did then, because my office is at home. Since I no longer have to be anywhere by 9 am, I can drink far more too. The chest pains are all but gone. The irritating bowel has calmed (partly due to daily consumption of the Stuff and partly to the removal of the stress that caused it). I am faster, stronger, fitter than when I was a wage slave, I relax more deeply and I sleep better because I now sleep when I'm tired, not when an employer dictates. I eat real butter, not plasticine. I add salt to salads. I ignore every word of so-called advice from the banners and I'm fifty and not dead. Not even ill.

Which is probably illegal.

I'm definitely an inconvenience. Fortunately I haven't been abroad in years so the government/EU (same thing) can't make use of their disappearance machine - the European Arrest Warrant - to vanish me. There are countries I will never visit, and those are the countries who make most use of this disappearance machine. I will never support the Greek tourist industry because there is a real risk of being hauled back there on unsubstantiated, even nonsensical, charges and there is nothing at all our government will do to protect me. The courts here don't even have the option to help.

But what about these bans? Why ban smoking in pubs completely? Many pubs were visited by mainly - in some cases only - smokers. Who was at risk there? The staff? All they need do is swap jobs with smoking bar staff in non-smoking pubs and problem solved.

Why are there stringent restrictions on smoking shelters? Why can they not be more than 50% protected from the elements? Who is at risk in there? Nobody but smokers will use them and the more enclosed they are, the less the risk to delicate nonsmokers passing by, surely? So why the rules?

What's the problem with drink? All we hear about is 'supermarkets sell it cheap' but they always have. Off-licences were cheaper than pubs, long before the supermarkets. We didn't have the same scale of violent boozer problems, although they have always existed, years ago. Off sales from anywhere were always cheaper than the pub. It's not the drink that's changed, it's the people but nobody wants to see that. Why?

Fat, salt, chips, processed foods - one of these is not in the sights. There is no call to ban highly processed foods, filled with chemicals and made from, well, you really don't want to know what 'recovered and reconstituted' means. Let's just say it's not the best cuts. Fats and salt are actually necessary to health so why refer to salt as 'white death'? (tipped by Rose in the comments).

The drinking problem was created, not by 24-hour licensing which I have never seen in practice, but by creating a culture of 'I can do what I want, innit?'. Labour accelerated it but it was on the way before that. The Cleggeron Coagulation will not change it. They aren't in charge of it, any more than Labour were.

The smoking ban destroyed the pub, that place of conversation and meeting. The rise of Smoky-Drinky, which the Righteous imagine is centrally organised somewhere because they can't think any other way, is to be combated by raising the price of supermarket booze. It won't work, price was not the reason we stopped going to pubs, but they will never see it.

Education is a farce. Supermarkets complain that the products of our education system are useless. Think about that for a moment. the UK education system produces people who are not capable of working in a supermarket. Yet we are expected to believe they can be trained as doctors and scientists and put in charge of nuclear weapons. The Coagulation are tinkering at the edges and ignoring the problem. Why?

Why target salt rather than processed foods? Why target fat when it's total calorie intake, not fat per se, that makes you fat? When you eat beef or pork fat, that's not human fat and is not directly laid down around your waist. It has to be metabolised like everything else before it's stored as human fat. If you don't eat more calories than you use, you don't get fat.

The medics and scientists know all this.

The smoking and drinking controls prevent meeting and discussion. The education, salt and fat eradication will create a population of dim drones. The 'It's me rights, innit?' culture will justify harsh policing. Smokers can be targeted without any reprisal because smokers don't matter. Fat people can be targeted because fat people don't matter. Something that the Scottish Labour health spokeslump might want to consider. Yes, it's complex but it has been a long time in preparation.

If you don't fit the Aryan ideal, you're expendable.

Nowadays, the Aryan ideal is defined by the BMA's Standard Human and if you're not it, you are out. Their legions of salt, fat, education and iodine deprived zombies will point and scream at you if you are outside defined limits.

When you put it all together, when that Rolf Harris painting is complete, you can see what it is.

It's eugenics. We are being cleansed. It's a less direct method than that used by the likes of Pol Pot but in the end, the result is the same.

Only the dull and unthinking will survive. If that's the future, I don't want it.