I never visit Starbuck's. They won't let me smoke with my coffee and even if they did, it is a silly place. When I feel like a coffee, most of the time I just want 'a coffee'. Often, I'll define it as an espresso (always a double), once in a while a cappuccino but the volume in those things is usually a bit much. Mostly, when I ask for 'coffee', that's all I want. Just coffee. No fancy names, no special cups, no logo and no frills. I don't even care if the mug is cracked as long as the coffee is hot and the mug doesn't leak.
So I would probably react in much the same way as a certain Professor Rosenthal, if faced with staff who insist I learn a language so local it only exists in their shop and if I don't, they won't sell me anything.
Not quite the same way. There would have been no need to call the police to get me to leave and promise never to return. That part would have been automatic. I don't want an espresso in a 'tall' cup, I refuse to regard a medium sized cup as 'grande' and I have no idea what 'venti' means. So I never visit Starbuck's. There is a small Italian deli in Aberdeen with outside tables and coffees named with Italian names - because the owners are Italian. Not because it 'sounds good'. Damn good espresso, too. They don't have 'venti' and they don't have corporate speak. They speak English to the customers and rage at each other in Italian.
I really should get around to learning Italian. Everyone speaking it sounds annoyed, all the time. No other language seems to express rage quite so well, in fact they can get so annoyed that they run out of words and have to extend the language into hand signals.
These modern chain cafes seem to be staffed with the obsequious and the insane. You have to speak their lingo or they'll ignore you, and it's unlike any language anyone learns in any school anywhere. I think they just make it up on the spot.
Well, it's their premises and if they want customers to learn Orcish before getting served, that's up to them. I don't like it so I won't go there. That's the full extent of my reaction, I don't want them pressured into letting customers relax, I just won't buy my coffee there. There's another place just around the corner.
Now I come to think of it, I haven't actually been to any cafes for a long time. Months of cold winter followed by a wet summer haven't left many days when I'd be willing to sit at an outside table - and I'm not allowed to smoke inside, so I wait until I'm home for my coffee.
If the fine weather returns, I'll stop off for a coffee somewhere. It won't be Starbuck's.
I'll let Foamy explain...