Cameron is a Scottish name, and yet this particular Empty Forehead of Doom seems to want to do to Scotland what the Brown Gorgon did to England.
Well, why not? He only stands to lose about five votes anyway although Little Nick might lose a lot more. There is nothing he can do to Scotland that will affect his chances at the next election, just as the Brown Gorgon could kick the South of England in the teeth with no worries.
It's all about this clock-changing malarkey we have to go through twice a year. The Cleggeroid Coagulation want to put a stop to it. Well, it is a bit of a pain, especially with these new digital clocks. Moving forward an hour is easy but you can't move them back an hour. You have to move them forward twenty-three hours. If you miss it you have to go round again.
The thing is, he wants to keep them permanently one hour ahead of GMT to please (pause for deep breath) the French.
We have, in GMT, perfectly good Proper British Time and we don't want any of that greasy, garlic-laden French time over here thank you very much. If he's going to do away with all the clock-changing (I have a lot of clocks so I'd support stopping the changing. Everything comes with a clock on it these days) why not stick with GMT? Does this summer time thing have any advantage other than an extra hour in bed at the end of October? I mean, if it's time to get up and it's dark, turn a bloody light on. It's only one switch. Anyone can do it. Then go back to bed for half an hour while the EU-approved DimBulb warms up.
I wonder if the Green MP has thought of the extra energy burning in Scotland on those dark winter mornings? With any luck, trying to reconcile that with EU subservience will blow a gasket in her head and let some sense in.
The Coagulation have opened a big can of worms with this little idea. If they agree to bring us into EU time, they annoy the Scots which will please a lot of English. But then they are pandering to the EU and especially the French which will annoy a lot of English. If they keep GMT they will annoy the EU which will please a lot of English but they'll be pandering to the Scots... and there is no way out now.
Well, there is one way but I'd be surprised if it has even occurred to him.
Declare that we will stop changing clocks and we will be using Proper British Time permanently. The Scots will make some mutterings about losing summer time even though in summer it barely gets dark up here and the EU and the French will mutter about him not being subservient enough. He'll have annoyed both at once and his voters will be delighted. He's not going to do that. He doesn't have the guts to stand up to the EU and the Scots don't vote for him so chances are, we'll be on French time soon.
Watch out for stripy jumpers and onion-laden bicycles soon after. We can't have those pavement cafes here though. It's rained every single day for the past six weeks or more. You couldn't keep your Disc Bleue alight, and your etchings would be all streaky.
Still, there are tons of snails about.