Saturday, 24 July 2010

Put the drink down first.

The town of Shitterton have decided that losing their town sign to thieving tourists is such a pain in the arse that they have a huge pile at the entrance now.

The town sign is now a ton and a half of rock with 'Shitterton' carved into it. A thousand years from now, archaeologists are going to get a surprise.

"It says what?"

"Shitty town, I think."

"Can't be right. Must be some kind of signpost for Glasgow."

Captain Ranty thinks they should just change the name of the town. I disagree. I think they should capitalise on it. Toilet humour is great unless you're French and have one of those big plates with a hole in. Those are not funny at all, especially if someone gets explosive diarrhoea. Likewise the Rochdale Squit-Squats. How are you supposed to smoke and read while holding your underwear out of the line of fire? Some of us find squatting a very difficult position to hold so the aim is likely to be wobbly too.

British toilet humour even extends to crediting the first flush toilets to Thomas Crapper. It's probably true, it's that kind of country.

Instead of changing the name, I'd have a little shop in town selling replica signs, including little replicas of the stone sign. Models of the public toilets. Joke signs and stickers -

'Shitterton, Proud to be Number Two!'

'Welcome to Shitterton. Drop your load and relax.'

Keyrings. 'I dropped my keys in Shitterton'.

Postcards of the locals sewage works. 'Up to our necks in Shitterton and loving every minute'.

Tourist information - 'Shitterton, warm and damp all year round'.

With the British sense of humour they'd make a fortune. Even if there's nothing for tourists there, they'd get day-trippers all summer just to buy the trinkets. A website selling that sort of thing would bring in money too.

There is a serious side to the story. The great slab of rock was organised and paid for by local people. The council chipped in but only after it was all arranged privately. It was done entirely voluntarily and entirely locally. Then they said this:

Mr Ventham said he felt the project was a good example of David Cameron's Big Society - local communities taking action in their own interest.

"I am not sure if he is expressly thinking about Shitterton signposts, but I think he is talking about people getting off their backsides and doing things," he added.

It is a perfect example of what the Cameroid's Big Society should have been. However, I have a feeling he won't like it all that much. His version of 'voluntary' is national service. I don't think any of those in power want people to do things for themselves, only to do as they are told.

No, the Cameroid won't like it. Because he didn't control it.

I, however, think it's excellent. Local problem solved by local people with no official in sight. If only we all had councils who would just let something like this happen.


Anonymous said...

So you will just love El Caganer.

Christmas would not be the same if we could not visit towns and villages to try to find the Caganer hidden in the Municipal Nativity scene.

microdave said...

"If only we all had councils who would just let something like this happen."

There's at least one other:

Stewart Cowan said...

"The council chipped in..."

Did they do the engraving? :)

There are worse places than Glasgow, BTW. I think.

Amusing Bunni said...

Leg Iron, your town sayings are too funny, you should hire yourself as their PR person, I know tourism will go WAY up!

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