Thursday, 22 July 2010

I am Spasticus.

I was a big fan of Ian Dury for no particular reason other than he was bloody brilliant. I wondered why he faded away. The beats and the music and the imaginative lyrics had so much further to go.

It never occurred to me that the Righteous did it. One Tim Yeo, a pompous extrusion of foetid self-importance in a suit, a man who has no idea what any disability means but who pronounces what is best for the disabled anyway, destroyed Ian Dury for his Spasticus Autisticus song. He regarded it as insulting to the disabled but he did not realise that Ian Dury was disabled. His fans did. We'd seen him topple over at concerts when it all got too much. We knew his limits better than he did, perhaps, and we admired him for ignoring them.

Why did Righteous Tim not realise this? Because to him and his collective, the disabled sit at home feeling sorry for themselves and living as pets of the Righteous. No disabled person could possibly manage for themselves, ever. Successful band frontman? Impossible.

Now, Tim Yeo realises he was wrong. Too late, you arrogant waste of pinstripe. Ian Dury was not poking fun at the disabled with that song. He was poking fun at the Righteous who think the disabled are their property, to be looked after and controlled as if they were poodles.

Disabled is a relative term. If you have no legs then you are disabled as far as long-distance running is concerned (although amputees below the knee can get some cool spring-steel ones which look brilliant) but you are not disabled in terms of thinking and typing and slapping and punching. The fuckers never expect it, you know. Never mind punching above my weight, my first punch is going below your waist. The second goes straight in your throat as you double over. Middle knuckle out. It will take but a second. I don't fight fair. That's no way to win.

Perfectly able-bodied politicians include people I would consider seriously mentally challenged. In non-PC terms, thicker than a pile of shit sandwiched between two very thick planks and covered with thickness tape, thicko filler and a layer of Chavvo Thickener Cement which does exactly what it says on the tin if anyone on the estate can read it. Yes, Cleggeron, I'm looking at you, admittedly from lower than normal and through a haze of smoke. Oh, you can cycle and dance around being oh-so-important but think? You pay people to do that for you. I pay buses to move me around and do my thinking myself. My way is cheaper. And more efficient. I pay buses that know what they are doing. You pay people who don't. I get where I need to be. You have no idea where you are going. One of us is stupid. Go on, guess.

Ian Dury says he was not moaning in that song. He was yelling.

Tim Yeo, Righteous Inquisitor, was not listening. All he heard was 'Spastic' and drew all his conclusions from that. Disabled. Smoker. Drinker. I am not a monster. I am a human being. Try to keep that line in mind, Righteous drones, and see the person, not the clinical definition. Then you might actually turn out to be some damn use. As for me, nothing - and I mean nothing - gets me angrier than patronisation. Do it to me and I will rub chillies in your eyes and then when you're on the ground, I'll drop some crushed ones into your pants. And then massage them in with a two-pound sledgehammer. You are not dealing with a pet. You are dealing with a 168 IQ and an Italian temper. Piss me off and you will feel pain. It won't be over quickly.

An end to patronisation, to being treated as pets, won't happen any time soon. If you don't fit the BMA Standard Human format, you are 'wrong' and must be corrected. Just as those with a bit more waist than necessary are now 'obese', just as those who have never been totally drunk are now 'binge drinkers', disability is coming to a diagnosis near you very soon.

Anyway, here is Ian Dury and the Righteous Tim in the same video.



And the full song.



Offended?

Tough. Get over it.

15 comments:

banned said...

I have mentioned before a lady that I know whose legs were amputated at the hips following a car crash (on how it took the Disability Living Allowance community 18 weeks to recognise that because "that's how long it takes").

This particular person is one of lifes cheerful people and fails to wallow in self pity, preferring to laugh when told that her claim had been discontinued "because we thought you were dead" and relishing the fact that her disability had enabled her to move from a scabby old room into a brand new purpose built disabilty friendly Housing Association flat.

The last time that I met her she was returning from a Mental Health Assesment Unit. Seems the social were 'worried' about her cheerfulness which 'might be' sign of manic depressive behaviour, that she was 'in denial' and 'disconnected' from her problems.

"Listen mate", she told them, "The only thing that I am disconnected from is me legs".

JuliaM said...

Have you seen 'Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll', the film where he's played by Andy Serkis?

Well worth watching.

richard said...

"Underdogs might sometimes bitecha-
If you fail to be polite-yeah
He's a modern aristotle
Tim's thick
like shite innaneck ovvabottle!
There's been a lot of clever bastards...."

Smoking Hot said...

Excellent post Leggy. Seeing lan on the street in that video reminded me so much of a great friend of mind. He was also a band frontman though not as famous as lan. Sadly my friend died this March. Ever the performer, everyone was in the chapel first ... then my friend arrived. His last gig.

His walking stick is now displayed on my wall along with photos of various gigs.

Shine on you Crazy Diamonds!

PT Barnum said...

That song was guaranteed to get every wheelchair user (and their walking friends) on the dancefloor at college discos in my youth, singing loudly 'I'm Spasticus'. But I guess the fact that they had long before named themselves collectively as The Crips would now also be tantermount to a hate crime.

Happy days. When I learnt just how versatile a wheelchair could be for things libidinal.

Dioclese said...

I agree with Julia - the film was excellent. Pehaps we can get him to tour in a tribute band?
Dury was unique and backed by some first rate musicians.
I tried it myself once and was only held back by a lack of talent - as my musical posts will no doubt have confirmed?
Oh well.....

NickM said...

Top notch!

I have a good mate with cerebral palsy. All he wants is not to be treated as a pet. Yeah, sure he can't do lots of stuff but...

I mean he's got a job, a car and just bought a flat.

Peperbarmi said...

Top post Iron man,

Hit me with your rhythem stick,great song and Drury is a mesmerizing performer..

Hit me slowly hit me quick....YEAH!


Yeo is such a prick!

Leg-iron said...

Banned - it's a strange mindset indeed. If you aren't constantly unhappy with your lot then you must be in need of psychiatric counselling. To teach you how to be properly miserable, properly resentful... and properly dependent.

They really can't handle it when someone just gets on with life. In their twisted version of reality, that's not possible.

Leg-iron said...

JuliaM - I haven't seen the film. I'll just call in on Amazon tonight, I think.

Leg-iron said...

Richard - another great song, with enough swearing to make any Righteous sphincter clench.

Leg-iron said...

Smoking - sorry to hear about your friend but at least his last appearance went well.

I think I'd like to be cremated, with the coffin stuffed full of tobacco. Enough to dose everyone within a five-mile radius with at least a Capstan's worth of nicotine and stain the entire crematorium yellow. They'd also get fined for allowing me to smoke indoors.

People would talk about me for years afterwards. Okay, they wouldn't be saying very nice things but they'd certainly be talking.

Leg-iron said...

PTB - These Righteous don't see their pets as human. They don't believe a disabled person might like a drink, they don't believe a Muslim might have a laugh now and then, they don't believe that immigrants might actually want to learn English so that they can integrate rather than be dependent.

The Righteous are totally humourless and totally without empathy. If you're different in any way, if you deviate from the Standard Human even slightly, then you must be looked after. And they must be the ones to do it.

Their 'looking after' is based on complete, parasitic control of your life.

They are worse than tapeworms. At least the tapeworm doesn't tell you what to eat.

Leg-iron said...

Dioclese - My musical ambitions were similarly thwarted by my inability to sing or play an instrument. If it hadn't been for that, I could have been in a boy band.

Actually, those aren't requirements any more, are they?

Chalcedon said...

Spastic is a perfectly acceptable medical term. It is in itself not a term of abuse but a description. As you say these righeous are fools.

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