State of the nation.

And what a desperate state it's in.

Real Street has depressing news. Of the thirty percent still intending to vote Labour, half of them think the country is a total mess and want to leave. Well, you stupid bastards voted for them three times, and you're intending to do it again. Worse, almost everyone is going to vote for one of the Triad. Nobody has been paying attention, have they?

Furor Teutonicus, writing on Fausty's blog, has a perfect explanation for the feeble state of modern people. Army recruits who can't stand to be shouted at! What the hell use are they? What did they think the Army did - deliver meals on wheels to Afghani pensioners?

A deficit that can only be paid by putting the country back to the Dark Ages and starting again. Dover sold off to the French. Power supplies sold off to any foreign country who wants them. Police who have to make a certain number of arrests, with no regard to the level of criminal arrested, and therefore achieve targets by looking out for easy ones. Schools that teach more Socialism than science and turn out students who know much but understand little. Children who believe themselves indestructible. Controls on every detail of life. People actively looking for things to be offended at. The law coming down on the side of those people who have found something irrelevant to be offended at. The law defending the criminal from his evil, elitist victim who thinks that just because he's worked for something he should be allowed to keep it. So much more, too much to recall at one time.

And yet while there is so much wrong with this country, while the whole place spins into the waste disposal unit, what have our government declared as a priority for their attention?

The word 'chairman' is sexist and must be banned.

Yes, they've found something to ban and are bouncing up and down with delight. Thirty percent of the people of this country will still vote for them. If you're one of them, and you're also an antismoker, did you know that even reading a blog by a smoker will give you shortness of breath and immediate cancer? Feel that shortness of breath coming on? The tightening in the chest? Your heart is cramping because of fourth hand smoke transmitted through your computer. ASH have conclusively proved the risk by using someone in a white coat to say it for them. I have an electronic cigarette here too, which transmits nicotine straight to the keys on your keyboard. It's even plugged into the USB port of my computer to maximise the effect. I'm taking a puff now. Here it comes. By now, your fingers will start to tingle as your entire metabolism shuts down. You'll be dead in a few minutes. It's going to be excruciatingly painful. Bye.

Well, if they're stupid enough to fall for other people's hype, they're stupid enough to fall for mine.

The Righteous have landed in Iraq too. It's becoming exactly the same over there. There are bombs and bullets every day, the electricity and water supplies are intermittent at best, the roads are full of holes, and guess what their government sees as a priority? A smoking ban. That's modern Western democracy, Iraqis. Get it out of there while you still can.

While we implode into a cowering mass, point the finger of blame at everyone around us and wait for some mythical superhero to save us rather than getting off our backsides and dealing with our own lives, the Government is busy deciding what to call someone who sits in a chair.

How did it come to this? Simple. It happened through the ballot box. Lots of bits of paper with 'X' on them. Soon we will do it again. More bits of paper with 'X' on them will determine what happens to us next.

It all comes down to where individuals put their 'X'. Put it next to Labour if you want them to decide what colour to paint the lampposts in your street and which bin you can put a used kebab into. Put it next to the Tories if your priorities are giving more money to Europe and shivering in the dark in the name of Greenness. Put it next to the Lib Dems if you have no priorities and have no idea what you want. In Scotland, put it next to the SNP if you really need someone to tell you how much you are allowed to drink and how much you are prepared to pay for it.

If you want an actual government who will do things like running the country, and leave you alone to live your own life in your own way, put that X somewhere else. Anywhere else. Put it on the back of your hand and slip the unmarked paper into the box if you want.

The next chance might be the last chance. Treat it as if it is.

Otherwise, get ready to have CCTV installed in every home for the sake of the cheeeldren. And forget about emigrating. There soon won't be anywhere left to go.

Last chance coming up. Pencils at the ready...