Aaah, lamb chops for tea. I like lamb. It's the nearest you can legally get to eating babies which is the ultimate goal of every smoker, drinker, and lover of salt-laden fatty food, according to the Righteous. But it's pointless to speculate about eating babies. I mean, red wine or white? There's nothing in Delia's books about it. But I digress. Already.
Quantum science is weird stuff, especially to us non-physicists. Some parts I can just about grasp, such as the impossibility of measuring both the velocity and location of a particle. If you fix a location, then a fixed location has no speed. If you measure speed, then it's moving so it has no fixed location.
I'm sure it's really much more complicated than that but what the hell. It's not my job to know those things.
One of the many things about quantum physics that makes my head spin is the idea that a particle can exist in two forms simultaneously, and only becomes fixed in one form or the other when you look at it. How does it decide which form to fix itself into? There's a school of thought that says it doesn't, that the observer decides. That is a terrible responsibility, especially for the one who first looked at the Brown Gorgon. According to quantum physics, he is their fault.
For a long time, I have flipped between the idea that our politicians are all clever calculators following a master plan, and the idea that they are all so incredibly stupid that someone else has to constantly remind them of the existence of gravity to stop them floating away (whoever is doing that, please stop). They existed in both forms simultaneously. Quantum politicians.
Channel 4 have looked at Jim Devine and he has set into one of his quantum forms.
It's not the clever form.
If the theory that the observer decides the form is correct, could Channel 4 hurry up and look at the rest of them? Then we can get Nurse to lead them all away to play together at the Shady Green Rest Home for Weary Minds.
Then we can give the gravity-reminding guy the day off.