Friday, 11 March 2011

Showing their insides.

I have no tattoos. Several smoky-drinkers do, some with particularly artistic ones, but I've never come across any image or text I wanted to have permanently etched into me so I remain unillustrated. So far.

This guy, however, has taken it to a whole new level. I'd never do it, but I still think it's brilliant. What an idea! What fantastic eccentricity! He makes money with his illustrated skin too, it's not like he's costing anyone anything and as far as I know, not even the Dreadful Arnott has managed to devise passive ink. Yet.

Okay, it might not seem such a great idea when he's older. When I was a wage slave, one of the retired guys I had worked with previously (and still do) would come in once a year with a form. Apparently, to keep his pension going, he had to provide evidence once a year that he was still alive. Just phoning up and saying 'Yes, I'm still alive' wasn't enough. An existing employee had to sign to prove it. If he was tattoed like that, it might not be such an easy decision. 'I'm alive'. 'Are you sure?'.

That, however, is his problem. I have no doubt he has considered it since his friends and family (and, judging by the article, the tattoo artist who did the work) have almost certainly pointed this out. Perhaps he won't be so happy with it when he's 60 but in the meantime, I want that guy on a book cover. He is perfect for this zombie tale.

It's one of those stories the denormalised read and think 'Whoa. Neat.' then move on with their lives. Normal people, as defined by the modern world, have a different view and express it in the comments.

VERY SAD - to abuse the gift of a healthy beautiful body like this; it is mental illness not cool at all and people justify it and say he makes a lot of money and he looks 'cool' what planet are you on? You are all mad if you think this is beautiful or life enhancing. It is depressing - laura, oxford, 10/3/2011 20:17

Being different is a mental illness. I have no doubt that Laura supports diversity while disparaging anyone who tries to express it. Really, it's time the meaning and the motivation behind 'doublethink' were explained to the monosyllabic masses. Reach around the backs of their heads and pull out that little plastic tag. The one that lets their brain's battery make contact. It's long past time they started using it.

Tattoos are just plain ugly and are generaly a way for drab people with little future to make a statement - that statement being 'I'm not drab really', but it doesn't work. They just look desperate as they waddle around displaying their tats. Then they go back to their semi or council flat and have their fish finger and chips dinner with their mum thinking. . . I'm so unique, "pass us the HP wudya chuck". of course one in a million carry them off well, becks, jolie etc.... just don't flatter yourself folks 99.9% just look cheap, tacky and tastless. - jane, herts, 10/3/2011 15:30

Tattoos are cool if celebs have them, but for the proles they are just tacky. I picture Jane deep in the pages of 'Hello', perhaps wearing a coat made of dead rodents while her silicon valley is topped with a string of oyster shit. Maybe that's just how she imagines herself, but we must be deferential because she is better than us. She is so in touch with the world that she thinks people put HP sauce on fish and chips. Has she no breeding, no culture? It's ketchup with fish and chips, you mannerless clod. HP sauce is for bacon butties and fried egg sandwiches. Honestly, these people just have no idea of proper etiquette at all. One day she will be invited to a smoky-drinky and she will be such an embarrasment. HP sauce on fish and chips? We just won't know where to look.

I would guess he is never going to be a company rep, member of parliament, school teacher, doctor, factory supervisor or waiter then....Tatoos are a disgusting mutilation & I would never employ someone who had visible tatoos or peircings for any job....ever! This sort of mutilation is just a disgusting abuse of your body.... - Dave B (Brit ex-pat), Uxbridge, Canada, 10/3/2011 13:55

Wow, and we smokers thought we had it bad. At least those who object to the smell of tobacco have a case, in that there is a physical effect coming their way that they don't like (or was, before they banned us from real life). Dave B will shun you for what you look like even though it has no effect at all on your ability to do the job, and cannot affect anyone else no matter how you skew the science.

As for Zombie Boy becoming an MP, I would definitely vote for him. MP? Make him PM. We could do with someone capable of making a decision and sticking to it.

Freak, freek, freeeek !!! - Steve , Hampshire, 10/3/2011 8:15 How dare you Steve. - Claire, London, 10/3/2011 10:42................................................................................................................................... Claire (and everyone else who red arrowed), How dare I what ? Would you consider covering yourself in hideous tattoos to make yourself look like a rotting corpse, NORMAL ????? - Steve , Hampshire, 10/3/2011 12:29

Normal? No. Different, eccentric, entertaining, yes. But then I'm not normal either. Neither are the rest of the denormalised. We like different. Different is good. In fact, we are the very embodiment of the diversity that is called wonderful, but stamped on when it tries to raise its head. Oh and Steve? I red-arrowed you. Why does it matter to you? Are you so shallow that acceptance by Daily Mail readers actually impinges on your life?

Why did I red-arrow you? Because it amused me to do so. Yes, you mean that little to me and your ego will explode if you read this. That will amuse me even more. Arrogant? If you want to believe that, do so. These newspaper stories are entertainment, nothing more. The comments are a game, not reality. They affect nothing at all. Yes, I am just playing around but that's all any other commenter does. The only difference between us is that I know it's just a game. I know it will have no effect. The only reason to comment and rate is for fun, there is nothing more to it.

There is, naturally, the 'for the cheeeldren' approach:

I wonder how you'd feel if your little girl was to suddenly come upon him on a bus or in the street? He'd scare the living daylights out of a child. When he gets fat and old he is going to look even more horrendous as tattoo's shift on wrinkly skin and fat.Think of him at 50? a joke.Unemployable.Let's hope they've come up with a good painless way of removing tattoos by then. - johnny, lancs uk, 10/3/2011 11:01

Suddenly come upon him on a bus? If I was in Jarvis mode I'd be saying 'Ooooh God. That would be terrible'. But seriously. How do you 'suddenly come upon' someone on a bus? Is he hiding under the seat? Clinging to the roof? I ride the buses and believe me, a guy with a tattooed face is the least of my concerns.

And as for 'think of him at 50', OI! I am 50. I am neither fat nor saggy and I have no wrinkles at all, despite the promises of the fag packets and I wonder who I can sue for failing to produce the aged skin as advertised? Oh, and impotence. I was led to believe by ASH that I would have been totally floppy by now, or at least dead. Someone must pay for my apparent vitality, which is not what I was promised at all. I'm supposed to be disabled and on benefits by now. I feel so violated... hey, wait, there's money in that.

But my favourite, the absolute epitomy of the drone mind, must be this one.

I think its very disturbing and I think its disgusting how someone could have done this to his body. I think there should be a law where at least the face cannot be touched by ink. Horror movies are to blame for alot of the sick happenings in the world today aswell. - Lauren G, Wales , 10/3/2011 17:59

I don't like it so there must be a law to stop anyone else doing it. What more can be said?

Lauren G, I think ASH are looking for new drones, and if they are full you could try the Shenkerites.

They all like idiots, you see. Well, no, I don't suppose you do.


subrosa said...

Tomato sauce with a fish supper? That must be an Aberdonian trait. It's mayonnaise in Perthshire - the proper stuff and none of yer Hellmans (aye I know the spelling is incorrect).

Try a fish supper with a little mint jelly. Rather tasty although it slides off the chips.

Don't you dare say I've too much time on my hands because I'm a pensioner! Before you ask, I've never been a member of the WRI.

Bill Sticker said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bill Sticker said...

Reading those comments it simply reminds one of what crude clay mass murdering repressive regimes are built with. Others are labels not people, anyone not like you is 'impure'. Now where have I heard that before? Don't tell me, tip of my tongue...

I'm with you on the ketchup with chips, though. HP is heresy with fish, although Mayo mixed with a touch of Tartare is excellent with battered plaice, cod or haddock.

As for Mint Jelly on chips, must be a purely Perthshire thing. I've never heard of it elsewhere. What the hell, must try it sometime.

Anonymous said...

dear leg iron,would tattoos stop the production of vit d on the skin, by the way your skin quality must come from your italian ancestors

JuliaM said...

"Being different is a mental illness."

Oh, yes. That attitude is spreading.

The champions of 'diversity' are not, it seems, all that keen on it in the raw.

PT Barnum said...

Having taken up getting the odd piercing at the age of 40, I was enchanted by the story my piercer told me, about the 85 year-old who came in for a Prince Albert. And that was just for starters. Hurray - anyone can be denormalised!

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX I wonder how you'd feel if your little girl was to suddenly come upon him on a bus or in the street? He'd scare the living daylights out of a child.XX

Aha. The "I am scared....well someone MAY be scared, how do we KNOW?" clause that seems to be running Britain....and Germany actualy, these days.

Same school as "Neigbours child terrified by tank parked outside house" (Dumb fucks don't know the difference between a tank and an A.R.V/A.P.C, but hay ho...) or "They were bieng noisy in a PUB! during a FOOTBALL match!!! I was shit scared so I was!"

Anonymous said...

"I think there should be a law where at least the face cannot be touched by ink"

Conjures up visions of the Essex police setting up roadblocks to conduct tattoo searches. "All right madam, what you got down there then? Come on - drop 'em..."

kitler said...

You should check out Jan Moir completely loosing the plot over Kate Moss's smoking. If this is how delusional non smokers are I never want to quit.

Francis Urquhart said...

I wonder if he would be interested in joining the Whips' office?


Neal Asher said...

A good cross-section of commments from our infantalized society, Leg Iron. And oh yes: 'We are for diversity, just so long as we are all diverse Guardian readers.'

Anonymous said...

Heres something I found interesting.

It's a cbbc programme, of children attempting to get thier parents to quit. Make of it what you will.

Stewart Cowan said...

Oh come on, it is horrible! He's a walking Iron Maiden cover.

The only tats I'm in favour of are "TRAITOR" on the foreheads of Blair, Brown, Cameron, et al.

Pat Nurse MA said...

I'm with you on this LI - his body his choice. Definitely better than ---- cut here ---- around his neck, or Indian ink crosses on his forehead :)

He is a walking work of art and I'll bet the righteous would be far too squeamish to have one done without rushing to hospital thinking they were dying from the pain.

Sheesh - who are these people we've never met, will never meet, but somehow feel they have the right to care about what to do with our own bodies and our own lives.

Anonymous said...

Great insights as always LI. :)

Would love to know what you make of this I just found.

Anonymous said...


The hypocrisy is incredible. I do not know if my mind can cope with very much more of this sort of thing.

MU said...

This guy (skullboy, if I remember rightly) has had that ink for years. I'm surprised the whale has only just picked up on it. Must be a slow news day. Or it could be the photoshoot.

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