Editing hangover.

I've spent the past few days reading the 97,000 words of 'Samuel's Girl' twice, to be certain they are all in the right order. It's now done, formatted and ready to go. As always, only a few chapters go out as a query but since we're in the dead zone between public holidays, nothing sensible will happen before Tuesday so I thought it best to just get it finished and tucked away.

It's a succubus tale so it won't be suitable for the cheeldren. What I'll need when (if) this one comes out is a damn good scandal. With the newspapers reporting what this filthy little man has written along with pictures of the book covers and where to order them. You can't buy publicity like that. Should she continue as a teacher? Well, if you think having an English teacher who writes well enough to be published is a bad thing, you don't deserve her. With any luck she'll be able to tell the school to stuff it anyway.

If you buy my next book hoping for something to get all sweaty to, you'll be disappointed. I can't write full-on erotica which is a shame because it sells really well. When I try, it comes out like a Brian Rix script. There is enough to get the Puritans going so maybe, when it's out, I'll take a week's work in a school somewhere then get thrown out in disgrace.

Although since the books are mostly demonic, maybe I should start going to church and getting well known. Then 'leak' the information.

It'll be three months before I hear whether it's accepted or rejected so I could have sent the query and then fixed the fiddly bits, but there are others waiting to be dealt with. Best get this one finished and shelved. A little sample? Sure.

“So there’s an open gateway to a world of demons, in a basement haunted by a dead librarian.” Elaine closed her eyes. “Tell me again how you managed to convince the police of this?”

Yes, in my tales, you don't simply walk away from the carnage. The police are involved from the first murder and they aren't going to just accept 'A big monster did it and ran away' as a viable statement.

All this reading and re-reading of the same words means I am knackered. It also means I have smoked a very nice half corona. Cigars, to me, are treats. I wouldn't have them every day even if I could afford it. Like the Penderyn, the only malt whisky I can't buy here. Sure, I could get it by mail order but then it wouldn't be special. Tonight it's not Penderyn, but Caol Ila. Penderyn will get ordered when I get my first royalty cheque even if the cheque doesn't cover it. The money is not the point.

It was a good weekend to be offline most of the time. The news is still full of the Royal Wedding with all the bad news well buried. It'll float to the surface sooner or later. It always does.

The smokophobes never take a day off, of course. Hot on the heels of 'one cigarette will kill every fish in the sea' comes 'smoke and your baby might die at some point in the future'. I have bad news for nonsmoking parents. Death is not optional. For anyone. You don't even get to choose the time or place.

Considering the chemicals you and your children are exposed to every day, avoiding the smoke from a little bit of burning leaf is like putting on a hat when there's a tsunami coming. But you carry on being scared. You carry on making up reasons to continue being scared. You carry on ignoring the truth and insist that you can be scared whenever you like. You're obviously addicted to it.

Once more, we have all the 'might' and 'could' qualifiers that hide the truth that is 'we made this shit up so we'd get paid'. When I write fiction I label it as such, to distinguish it from my other work in real science. Tobacco research seems to have lost the distinction completely. They don't even write credible fiction. In fact, much of the current research coming from tobacco control makes homeopathy look as credible as pure chemistry. It makes the paranormal positively mainstream. It also makes every scientist on the planet look bad.

That's why I'm pushing ahead with the writing - science will soon be totally screwed by a combination of lying tobacco/alcohol/salt/environment/you-name-it researchers, socialist universities, lunatic government policy and a completely mad leader of the student's union. I need a backup career. 'Making stuff up for money' seems to be a growth industry at the moment.

Odd that they've just banned homeopathy, but let the really mad ones continue. Then again, third hand smoke involves such small concentrations, you can see why they'd want to get anyone who actually knows about small concentrations well out of the way. Homeopathy states that tiny concentrations are protective, not harmful, and that does not at all fit with the message of the smokophobes. Sorry, homeopaths, looks like you're collateral damage even though you were never involved at all. I expect the smokers will get the blame because that's fashionable now.

Does science totally dismiss homeopathy? Really? It will never use the name but look up 'hormesis'. Mr. Cat, meet the pigeon family.

Anyway, I am in wind-down mode after that blast of concentrated editing but will be back to normal tomorrow. I have three months to get the next one ready (set some 300+ years after 'Jessica's Trap', hint hint) and the first draft is already complete. Three months will be enough even if the day-job gets busy. If the day-job doesn't get busy I'll need the money anyway.