There has been much rumbling about the South African vulvaemulator or whatever it's called. Having no interest at all in kick-ball, I have not watched any of the games so I've never heard this new and terrible eardrum-mashing machine. I imagined some complex resonating device that could even beat the benches in Shrewsbury railway station (1970's) waiting room for fart amplification - and that would take some beating. They were perfect sounding-boxes. There was considerable hilarity on more than one overnight stay. They didn't used to kick you out of the station in those days.
Mrs. Rigby has video. I am enlightened.
It's a plastic trumpet. That's all it is. So a lot of them together makes a lot of noise. A lot of anything makes a lot of noise, just go along to a symphony orchestra and have a listen. It's not a noise I'd like to hear a lot of but then the revolting children who live nearby also make enough noise to make a decibel-meter request euthanasia. I don't like that either but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to be able to do anything about it. We have far too many restrictions on everything already. Instead, I learned to ignore it. Even the child who sounds like she's being murdered every ten minutes. One day she might be and I guarantee nobody will even look out of their windows because she makes that noise every day anyway.
Don't British fans take air horns and other such things to games? Long ago I had a proper football rattle, made of wood and painted in Arsenal colours. That was before I lost interest. It was a very noisy thing indeed and if it caught you while spinning it really, really hurt. Are they still allowed? Somehow I have my doubts. The only time it was used in anger was Arsenal versus Liverpool sometime in the seventies, can't remember exactly when. The only live match I ever attended and it was a 0-0 draw. Ho hum.
This volvobaiter thing is just a plastic trumpet and it's the South African preferred noise-making device for football matches. Big fat hairy deal.
It just goes 'honk'. It doesn't beat people up in a drunken frenzy or trash whole towns when their team loses. It's a plastic trumpet. It's a noise-making thing. All countries have noise-making things at football matches.
What's the big deal with this one?
Is it just another case of 'We don't like it so it must be banned'? There's a lot of that about lately.