"Yeah, like, any bugger can be Prime Monster these days, innit?. You don't need no brains or nuffin. You don't even need a motor, they give you one, and a house and food and booze and that and you can smoke in there an' all. If that saggy-faced git can do it, I can do it. I can be Prime Monster Chaveron, innit? But you can call me Dave. 'Cos it's me name, innit?"
(Picture rehoused from here)
(Picture rehoused from here)
I have a 'dormant account' or two. One is an old savings account with less than twenty quid in it. The interest rate dropped below one percent about ten years ago and I stopped putting money in. One day it will reach twenty quid and I'll be able to get it out of the machine. Until then, I ignore it and also ignore the occasional statement saying it's gone up by a few pennies.
It's a trivial amount of money but it's my money and I would be just as incensed if it was stolen as I would if my main business account was raided. The Brown Gorgon once mentioned raiding 'dormant accounts' but I never thought to hear this:
Hundreds of millions of pounds of unclaimed assets from dormant accounts will be channelled into a "big society bank" to fund grassroots social entrepreneurs to deliver public services under a Tory government, David Cameron announced today.
The Tories are going to raid us and are going to set up a State-owned bank with that stolen money, even if Labour don't. What, exactly, is the point of voting Tory then?
The Cameroid also claims he wants a small state. To this end he says -
Outlining "incredibly ambitious" plans to reduce the role of the "big state", the Tory leader declared that the bank would help charity and voluntary groups that are "locked out" of the current system.
So to reduce the size of the State, he's going to increase the role of the State in creating and funding more fakecharities. What, exactly, is the point of voting Tory then?
A Conservative government would:
Create an army of 5,000 full-time professional community organisers – modelled on the work of Barack Obama in Chicago in the 1980s – who would encourage the creation of community groups involving every adult in Britain.
More meddlers and prodnoses. Five thousand of them. With control over every adult in Britain. Modelled on a Socialist idea. This is not something any Conservative government should even be thinking, never mind proposing. Dammit, Cameroid, you are not only going to be just as bad as the Gorgon, you are going to be worse.
There is absolutely no prospect of me voting Tory even if the local Labour candidate was on a dead heat and my vote would push them out. Why would I? There is no difference at all between them now.
Don't worry, I wouldn't vote Labour either. I'd have to cut off my hand afterwards before the contagion spread. Nor will I vote SNP or for those faceless people with the orange badges. I'd rather vote for the Pensioners for Jesus party (but I won't).
Theft and control have been hallmarks of the current government. The Cameroids propose to change that. Unfortunately they propose to change it for the worse.
More meddling, more control, more theft. All to counter the perception that the Tories are 'uncaring'.
I don't want the government to 'care' about me. I don't want them to even notice my existence.
I want them to leave me alone, to let me live my life the way I want to live it. Not force me to live in line with some mechanical lab-rat formula. Just get lost and leave me alone.
Labour have had thirteen years of 'caring' and look at what they've done. When the Cameroids propose even more of the same, is it any wonder their share of the polls is dwindling?
Dave - stop caring. Just promise to stop all the bans and the controls and the pathetic meddling in the minutiae of life and promise that once elected, we'll hardly hear about you for five years unless it's something that actually matters.
Do that and you might be surprised at the reaction.