Monday, 5 April 2010

Something old, something new.

I am fifty. It just happened a few hours ago and I missed it. So I am past the legal age for a smoker, drinker, salt user and red meat eater. I expect they'll come for me at dawn.

In the meantime...


A horse walks into a bar, sits down on a stool and orders a drink. The waiter brings the drink and puts it in front of the horse. "So," says the barman, "why the long face?"

"Yeah," says the horse. "I'll tell you why the long face. I've been coming into this bar for this lame joke fifty years or more, and now I can't even have a smoke."




Picked up from a forum. Others have noticed...

35 comments:

Captain Ranty said...

Happy Birthday Leggy!

I'm only two trips around the sun behind you and chasing hard!

CR.

almighty said...

happy birthday oldjun

keep puffing, posters are getting emailed from work to global contacts :)

Leg-iron said...

Ta. I have, once more, passed the legal limit for pretty much everything at my age. Overflowing ashtray and underflowing whisky bottle.

For tomorrow I have saved up another really big cigar and another bottle of Glenlivet. I hope everyone buys me booze.

There is no guarantee of a coherent post tomorrow.

SaltedSlug said...

Since I'm still awake, I'd better offer my congrats also.

More ash on your keyboard;
more strain on your liver;
more power to your arm.

Happy Birthday, buddy.

Pavlov's Dalek said...

I can only echo the sentiments of Salted.

More power to the Mighty Leg-Iron, may the Righteous tremble at his keystrokes.

Billy The Fish said...

Happy Birthday, L-I!

Illegitimi non carborundum, mate!

Fish x

JuliaM said...

Many happy returns! :)

PT Barnum said...

^
What the great Julia said. Enjoy :)

Captain Haddock said...

Happy Birthday ..

Here's one for you ..

A white horse walked into a bar and the barman said .. "Here, we've got a whisky named after you" ..

And the horse said "Wot, Eric" ?

Stewart Cowan said...

Happy Birthday, LI,

I've got three years to go.

You're only as old as you feel.

Do you share your birthday with anyone famous?

Simon said...

A dyslexic Horse walks into a bra...

Happy Birthday Leg-Iron

Mrs Rigby said...

Happy fifty L-I.

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday,Leggy! 50 eh? How dare you defy all the Righteous's doom-laden odds like that!

another anon said...

Happy Birthday Leggy. On the day the Lord has risen from the dead aswell. Is it a sign ?
Sadly like me you've passed the age where people can say at your funeral " aye all the best ones die young".

Mr A said...

Happy Birthday Leggy!

Cynarae said...

Congrats Leggy, I'll bake a cake in your honour.

Pogo said...

Happy Birthday, "sonny".. :-)

Autonomous Mind said...

Happy Birthday old chap. Enjoy the steak and cigar!

Chris said...

So I am past the legal age for a smoker, drinker, salt user and red meat eater. I expect they'll come for me at dawn.

"Leg-Iron's Run" - a modern sci-fi classic of one man battling against a dystopian nightmare.

Happy 50th mate.

The Boggart said...

Happy Birthday Leg Iron
I have knocked up a poster called I Know My Place from the old sketch, it's on my blog hope its up to standard if not then ignore.
Yours
The Boggart

Mr Eugenides said...

Jesus, I never knew actual people lived to 50. Well done, and enjoy the whisky.

Chief_Sceptic said...

Mmmm ... Leg-iron, you're hard on my heels ! ...

Horse walks into a bar and orders a Pint and a large Whisky

Barman says "that'll be £25; by the way, we ummm, don't get many horses in here, you know" ...

Horse says "at these prices, I'm not bloody well surprised !" ...

Frank Davis said...

Many happy returns, Leggy.

Fausty said...

Happy birthday, Leg-Iron!

Cheers!

Pogo said...

@Mr Eugenides: Jesus, I never knew actual people lived to 50.

Oy! I'm 61 in a couple of weeks you cheeky little fucker!

richard said...

Happy Birthday till ye, I'm 4 years behind you, the age bracket when you begin to notice that people in the workplace are younger than your belt, watch, and motorcycle.

Anonymous said...

Now that you're fifty expect:

- brochures from SAGA

- brochures from Stannah

- letters from the NHS inviting you for check-ups that you didn't need one day ago and which, if you accept, will give the Righteous more money in their pocket.

Many Happy Returns.

Jay

Junican said...

Congratulations, young man.

prm said...

What everyone else said.

Spartan said...

Fifty Leggy? ... well done sir!

Man with Many Chins said...

Happy birthday LI

TheFatBigot said...

Heartiest commiserations Mr Iron.

I remember how I felt when my liver turned 80.

Kynon said...

Happy birthday sir!

g1lgam3sh said...

Happy Birthday LI. you're catching me up :-)

Leg-iron said...

Thanks to all. Now I have to pause in the drinking to let my liver grow back.

I'm being sparing with the Penderyn. It's not too expensive (although at around £35 a bottle it's not cheap either!) but it's hard to get here.

Visitors leave tomorrow, and then I can get that smoke war fired up properly.

opinions powered by SendLove.to