Conspiracy vs. conspiracy.

The Daily Mail swaps sides faster than a pendulum. They can carry a story of a woman, often more than one, raped and then arrested under Sharia law and in the same issue they can claim that killings in Afghanistan are the fault of a book-burning guy in Florida.

Despite clear evidence that his actions have led to multiple murders and widespread violence in the Middle East, controversial Florida pastor Terry Jones has vowed to step up his provocative campaign against Islam.

He burns books. He cuts off no heads, he blows nobody up, he isn't even pouring weedkiller on live plants. As far as I know he has not even been responsible for a Chinese burn or a bruise to anyone's forearm. He's burned a few copies of a mass-produced book. The book's publishers will be delighted. They've sold those books and now they are out of circulation so anyone else wanting one will have to pay for a new one. If you want to buy my book and burn it, please, go ahead. Buy enough for a bonfire. If you burn 100 copies and send me the receipt, I'll send you a free copy and a box of matches. I promise to act offended and to 'tsk' when interviewed, and to do my best not to giggle.

Burning books harms nobody. Publishers simply print, and sell, more. As J.K Rowling discovered when the Bible Belt found out about Harry Potter, book burnings are fantastic publicity. They knock book signings into a cocked hat as far as media coverage goes, even if you do the book signing in the nude, drunk and smoking while made-up to look like a corner house in Swansea.

If you burned Bibles the Christians would be offended. If you burned the Bhagavad-Gita, Hindus would be offended. These groups, along with Jews and Buddhists and the others, would tut at you most ferociously but they aren't likely to cut your head off. Have you ever seen an enraged Church of England guy? He might give you tea with no sugar in it if you really, really push him to the limit. Then he'll apologise. If all religious people were like that, the world would be an easier place to live in. All you'd have to do is carry your own sugar.

To kill people who had nothing at all to do with the book-burning is not the act of the offended. It is the act of the totally and irredeemably insane. This is insanity beyond any hope of treatment, this is melt the key and brick up the doorway time. Someone on one side of the planet, obviously a bit of a fundamentalist, burns a book, and someone on the other side of the planet responds not by burning his holy book but by cutting a totally uninvolved person's head off. How the hell can anyone, even a Socialist, consider that in any way a rational response?

And how can the Daily Mail say that the fundamentalist Christian's admittedly insulting action makes him responsible for the lunatic response of people for whom 'fundamentalist' is far too small a word?

The Mail are in full Muslim mode today. They claim the EDL were all wearing burkas with the St. George's flag on them. There were 2000 EDL on that march, so how many did they photograph with the St. George's Burka?

One.

In the other photos, almost every EDL member had no head covering at all. Not even a hat. Many don't even have hair. Apparently some banners had the Star of David on them, as if that could somehow be considered a Nazi symbol. Sometimes the hysteria bubbles just beneath the surface when you read this drivel and you start to wonder if every NHS hospital should have a Daily Mail ward for those who crack under the strain of the doublethink. Oh, and how many photos of Star of David banners? None.

There is a brief mention of the UAF being there and then talk of violence and arrests but the implication is that it's all down to the EDL. On past experience that seems unlikely.

I hold no special brief for the EDL but this is just biased reporting and the doublethink is mindbending. The EDL are associated with the far right, racism, antisemitism, holocaust denial and with the BNP and then they are carrying Jewish symbolism and all those things are bad? Help me out here, lefties. One of them wears a burka with a thin red cross on it once and that's evil, but thousands of Muslim women wear black coverings every day and that's good. Explain to me how that works, lefties.

Muslims in the Middle East burn flags and they burn politicians in effigy and we say 'Oh, those naughty people' and forget about it and that makes us evil. One American pastor burns some books and those naughty people go and kill a lot of people who had nothing at all to do with the book burnings and might even have opposed it, and they are justified. Come on, lefties, I know you're watching. One of you must have an answer to this.

If a Daily Mail journalist happens by, please hit yourself in the head with a brick until you decide which side you're on here. Do you want Sharia law or not? How can racists be carrying Jewish banners? How does one face covering mean that two thousand people are guilty? No hurry. Just keep hitting.

I mean, there's doublethink and then there's madness. I suspect the Mail has surpassed doublethink by quite a wide margin.

I know that not all Muslims are involved in this lunacy. However, they are all going to take the backlash of it. All Muslims will be blamed for the actions of the UAF and of the Taliban. All Muslims will become the target, not of the EDL who have very precise aims, but of the ordinary people whipped into a frenzy by the likes of the Daily Mail.

Muslims, listen to a smoker. You are in the process of being denormalised. It's not quite the same approach because smokers, drinkers, fat people and even Christians will not rise up and fight back. We are all being denormalised by gradual steps which we can, mostly, just slide around.

You, Muslims, are different. You shout and scream and threaten death and destruction and you blow things up and you demand 'rights' and you retaliate.

The authorities have a hard time with smokers. Tell us we can't smoke in a pub and we simply stop going to pubs and make alternative arrangements. We don't fight, we slide past the rules. We can hide in plain sight and we can appear and disappear at will. Christians simply don't wear a cross or keep it in their pocket, they don't really need it anyway. The authorities can't fight us if we don't fight them. They especially can't fight us if they can't find us.

Muslims, you have made yourselves easy targets for the denormalisation process. Burning poppies, blowing people up, cutting heads off, marching with demands such as 'free speech go to hell' and 'Sharia law for the UK' and the UAF and the Muslim Parliament that nobody voted for - you are walking straight into another version of the holocaust you pretend didn't happen. You fight, and that means they know what to do with you. They will set the people against you and that boast of 'two million Muslims in the UK'?

There are sixty million non-Muslims right next to you.

So sit back a while and think. You've been useful but they don't need you any more. Your rage is going to get a response and it is, indeed, a response that has been planned and calculated.

But not by you.