Do I believe there are currently a group of people attempting to take over the world? That's at the centre of most conspiracy theories, so do I believe it or not?
Well, of course there are people trying to take over the world. Look at any point in human history you care to think of. There have always been people trying to take over the world. Hitler, Stalin, Marx, Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, the Roman empire, the British, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Ottoman empires, even today there are countries with colonies and bases everywhere 'for the benefit of the local people'... there hasn't been a time in history when there wasn't someone trying to take over the world.
So is someone attempting it now? I'd be very surprised indeed if there weren't a dozen or more groups trying.
What's seriously unclear to me is what they plan to do if they ever succeed. What then? Mars conquest? Dominion over the ants? Control of the badgers? Flower Power? Algae Dictatorships? Cat-herding?
I really cannot see why anyone would want the hassle of being in charge of a local council, never mind the entire planet. Why would you want to be what is certain to be the single most hated person on the planet? Imagine living in a world where Gordon Brown is more popular than you. Where you rank lower than Blair, Mandelson or even Ant and Dec in the popularity stakes.
Oh sure, you can call yourself King of the World right up until the day you're assassinated by the next King. Because once you succeed, that isn't the end of the game. Oh no, there have always been and always will be people trying to be King of the World and all you'd do by succeeding would be to make it easier for the next one. They'd only have one target to aim at.
If you were King of the World, you would spend the rest of your life in the cross-hairs. It is the worst conceivable lifestyle choice, as far as I can see.
Sure, you'd have total control of the herd of cats that is humanity. Ha ha ha. They'll do exactly as you say until you turn your back and then they'd pop the cork and strike the lighter and pour the salt on chips they'd made out of parsnips because you've banned potatoes. You can force them to live entirely on turnips and they'll make wine out of them and smoke the leaves.
You can send your black-clad and heavily armed mindless drones to beat them into submission but that will just make them fade into the crowd. You can watch them with CCTV and they'll wave at you while the camera is on them, then put on the fake beard when they're out of its view. You can implant microchips and they'll hack them to make themselves millionaires or dig them out and implant them in a pigeon.
It doesn't even work on a country level. Iran has a total ban on alcohol but people get plastered at weddings anyway. In the UK, handguns are banned and shootings happen every week. On a city level, Aberdeen has a byelaw that states 'no booze in public' but I can take you to main street locations where I guarantee we'll find a few Red Stripe connoisseurs completely blasted on a bench at the roundabout.
The UK has tried, at various times, to eradicate Jews, Catholics and witches. Germany once tried to eradicate Jews and Jehovah's Witnesses and the disabled and homosexuals and gypsies and well, pretty much anyone they could find. The Spanish Inquisition tried to eradicate Jews and Protestants and Muslims. They're all still here, in all those countries. Their populations might be reduced for a time but eradication is always going to be about as successful as curing the common cold.
People are not controllable entities. Well, apart from plastic ones. We tell lies on forms and to official faces, we mess around with the machinery of control and we delight in finding ways around those controls. In fact, if there were no controls at all, it would take a lot of the fun out of life for many.
Really, anyone who wants to be in charge of this lot really needs therapy. You'd have to be completely insane to want to be King of the World.
Which is why only the completely insane ever try.