Off to the Smoky-Drinky place.

The trouble with Fridays is that, well, the report can't be sent off until Monday anyway so why kill myself to finish the last bits tonight? Added to that is my abstinence from accompanied boozing while decoding this monster into non-scientist format over the last couple of weeks and... something's gonna blow.

So, tonight, I have a bottle of Ledaig (£15.50 in Morrison's but £28 in Tesco, even though they are only a mile apart) and will carry it through the globally warmed frost to visit a smoky-drinky place I know of, where others of the smoky-drinky persuasion gather in the absence of anti-anythings and drink, smoke (yes, indoors, and with a wood fire too), eat extraordinarily spicy food and generally behave in all those ways that weren't illegal or even frowned upon until recently. It's not licenced and not open to the public so not subject to the hysteria of the mob. We all bring our own and pass them around.

While picking my careful way across the iced pavement, cursing the Green God's laxity in warming this place up as advertised, I will reflect on the question of who is going to pay the billions our loony leaders plan to put into tinpot tyrants' Swiss bank accounts while pretending to help the poor.

It won't be much reflection because the answer is obvious, really. It's you and me. MP's incomes will not be touched at all, the bankers already know how to dodge any tax this inept government can devise and the rich can afford to hire accountants so creative that even those who study multidimensional physics will never find the money.

Anyone who pays tax, anyone who has a bank account, anyone who has any income at all will be paying for this and you know what? If there's one thing guaranteed not to reduce emissions, it's building huge concrete structures and power stations in places that don't really want them and providing motorcades of limousines for the wealthy dictators of poor countries.

The environment and the climate are not interested in money. You can't bribe nature, nor can you legislate against it. It's not that nature will defy all such attempts. Nature will not even pretend to notice. Nature might matter to us be we don't matter to nature. At all. Nature has replacements already lined up for any vacant niche. We don't need to worry about nature. It'll be fine.

Passing laws and throwing money about is futile and irrelevant. It affects nothing at all. It's just the socialist way of saying 'Those people have too many bits of green paper. Steal some from them'. Same as they always do, just with a new excuse. It will have zero effect on climate. It's not intended to. It's another 'make them suffer' game.

If climate change was really due to human emissions, and our politicians really cared about it, why did so many of them fly to Copenhagen and get shuttled around in limousines? Why, indeed, does the new 'replace your boiler with a green one and we'll subsidise it' idea apply only to England and not to the rest of the UK? It couldn't be that Labour are sure of their votes in those other places and are just trying to buy English ones, of course.

Human effects on the climate are trivial compared to nature's. If we really start causing problems, nature will simply let us wipe ourselves out and set a different species going.

We're just not that big a deal.

Anyway, a drinky smoky evening beckons. Best get some food in me first. A salted lard sandwich should complete this evening's anti-Righteous festival.

Sure, I could give it all up and live longer, but that would mean living in the future and to me, that's just not appealing at all. There's nothing there.