Monday 13 June 2011

The University of Fantasia.

I think that's where most science comes from now, and it's performed by a big mouse who talks to a broom.

It's the only explanation for stories like this -

A booze company sponsors midwives to advise pregnant women not to get shitfaced every day and the British Medical Association aren't happy about it.

I think the whole initiative is a load of guff anyway and I'd just be happy that it was paid for by a company that can afford it, rather than wasting even more of those taxes the government steal from us all. Women know that when pregnant, excessive amounts of anything labelled 'bad for you' are not a great idea. They already know. It's built into the firmware.

Women who sink three bottles of vodka a day and continue to do so when pregnant are not going to produce any genetic heritage worth keeping. Harsh, but there it is. If you want the population to get smarter you don't need fancy eugenics ideas. The terminally useless are perfectly capable of taking themselves out of the gene pool and the only thing the rest of us need do is leave them alone.

How widespread is this problem of drunken pregnant women, reeling about the place like a barge that's broken its moorings? I cannot recall seeing 'mum-to-be' outings in the pubs, I don't remember ever seeing a pregnant woman face down in the gutter, rocking gently like a horizontal Weeble. I don't recall seeing any pregnant woman drunk and I've been to an awful lot of places where people get drunk.

That doesn't mean it doesn't happen, of course. But it does imply that it's not common. The figures in the article imply the exact opposite.

Figures from the 2005 Infant Feeding Survey showed that more than a third of mothers gave up drinking entirely during pregnancy.
But 4 per cent said they did not change their drinking habits, while 61 per cent drank less but did not cut out alcohol entirely.

Those figure only work as a shock-horror-probe if one hundred percent of women routinely drink themselves into a stupour. This is patent nonsense, I can think of three ladies in Dunfermline for a start. Let's play 'rip the numbers'.

...more than a third of mothers gave up drinking entirely during pregnancy

So they weren't alcoholics then. What were they drinking before pregnancy, a case of WKD a day or a sherry once a fortnight? We aren't told.

61 per cent drank less but did not cut out alcohol entirely

What did they cut down to, half a case of WKD a day or a sherry every other fortnight? We aren't told. And now the master stroke -

But 4 per cent said they did not change their drinking habits

The implication being that this four percent are merrily pickling their foetus in gin, so it'll be born with a red nose and a face like W.C. Fields. On the other hand, if you take a large group of women, what are the odds that four percent don't touch alcohol at all, and therefore 'no change' means they still didn't drink it when pregnant? Again we are not told what 'no change' really means.

The BMA and Don the Puritan are incensed that this idea of telling women what they already know is being paid for by a private company. They should be getting the money to do it. From us. Then they can enforce their 'no safe limit' mantra and threaten any woman who dares to sniff the gripe water with withdrawal of the State services they've paid for.

Don Shenker, of Alcohol Concern, said: ‘It is deeply worrying that alcohol education is being paid for by the drinks industry, as it is then unaccountable and not necessarily based on evidence or public-health guidance.’

Evidence, Don? Look up the meaning of words before you use them. Also look up 'unaccountable' and ask yourself where you are held to account? Diageo are giving the money to a charity. they aren't running the program themselves. Admit it, Don, what's eating you is that it's not your charity that's getting the cash. And why would they give it to you? You hate them, and us, and all forms of pleasure. You, Don, are the most 'deeply worrying' aspect here.

In other news, apparently some politicians have noticed that formaldehyde is dangerous. I am impressed, they have come to this realisation in under a century since the rest of us knew about it. Pretty good going for the few brain cells they possess. It's only dangerous when there's a lot of it but then their straining little brains have seized on 'no safe limit' and they can't hold longer sentences in their heads. Pity they haven't yet applied 'no safe limit' to politicians.

Funnily enough, even though it's in the list of trace chemicals on the side of scary tobacco packets, they aren't blaming formaldehyde on smoking this time. No, this time smoking gets the blame for... styrene.

The greatest exposure to styrene in the general population is through cigarette smoking, the report said.

Styrene? Tobacco is made of leaves, the filters are cellulose and the wrapping is paper. All plant material, all easily biodegradable despite the insane ramblings of the antismoker drones. Where's the plastic? And how can smoking be the biggest cause of exposure to anything in the general population? It's banned everywhere!

The American Chemistry Council (ACC), an industry group, lashed out at the report, saying it was concerned that politics may have hijacked the scientific process.

Ya think? Where the hell have you people been for the last twenty years? Climate change, obesity, drinking, smoking, salt, fat, there is no science any more. It's ALL politics. Conclusions are written before the project even begins. The practice I'm getting in fiction writing will stand me in good stead if I should ever return to government-sponsored 'research' which consists of a boozy lunch with Daily Mail staff and a hungover write-up of whatever the sponsor wants to hear. Science 'might have been' hijacked by politics? Oh, do wake up.

I would say 'wake up and smell the coffee' but that's probably illegal by now.

The scaremongers are working really, really hard now. That's a good sign. They're getting panicky because fewer and fewer people are listening. Hardly surprising when they have passed deep into the realms of the absurd and are fast approaching the laugh horizon.

The cracks are getting bigger and the whole lunatic edifice is crumbling. Unfortunately, it looks like they are going to take scientific credibility, all of it, down with them.

The odd thing is, science doesn't seem to mind.

31 comments:

kitler said...

Some medical hardidan was on Sky News ealier saying she was happy to accept the cash as long as the coroprations giving it removed all trace of their names or logos and took no credit for it. I'm sure Ayn Rand wrote characters with a similar midset.

Christopher Snowdon said...

That would be the same Don Shenker whose glorified quango Alcohol Concern is "unaccountable" to the public under Freedom of Information because it's classed as a charity, and whose latest piece of "evidence" was an online survey for under-18s that was open to all ages (including those who, quite rightly, think he's a tool).

JuliaM said...

"The cracks are getting bigger and the whole lunatic edifice is crumbling."

Not, unfortunately, fast enough...

Anonymous said...

4% failed to change their drinking habits is meaningless - since it doesn't say what their drinking habits were. Maybe their habits were perfectly fine and nothing to do with harming their babies, thus no change was perfectly fine. It's just saying that 4% failed to agree to the authoritarians when they marched into this issue and that way makes it sound like if you agree with authorities, then you are going with the flow of 96% of the people considered "normal", while if you disagree, then one will subconsciously think they'd be against the grain and "abnormal" - thus everyone better conform to the 96% norm. It doesn't mean 4% had any reason to change at all really. It's a scare tactic subliminally built into what it says, like saying "everyone agrees", counting the 96%.

petem130 said...

Great post. The underlying problem of these holier than thou lefties do-gooders gaining so much power and influence.

Science has been hijacked which is a disaster although unfortunately some within science have profited from this.

Anonymous said...

It's getting tiresome now.

It's harmless fun to announce to the family that the apple crumble you are serving contains formaldehyde because all apples do and always have.

Or that there's hydrogen cyanide in the blackberry and apple pie.

Or that the rhubarb and strawberry jelly contains tiny amounts of oxalic acid which is used in metal polish and stain removers.

It's not funny any more when "experts" with grave faces use such information out of context to terrify the public needlessly.

Rose

Katabasis said...

"Unfortunately, it looks like they are going to take scientific credibility, all of it, down with them."

That's the part that concerns me most. We're descending rapidly into an endarkenment.

I posted the other day that we now have over 50 years of data on water vapour levels in the atmosphere. There is no significant upward trend, therefore no positive water vapour feedback and therefore no climate catastrophe. Period.

Yet the belief that there is still has legs.

How is this possible?

Dr Evil said...

Sadly, gripe water does not have any alcohol in it these days! Now I know why I used to enjoy swigging my brother's gripe water when he was a baby over 40 years ago. Grand stuff it was too.

Anonymous said...

Ooh, Leggy! You know, don't you, that you're inviting comments here from Righteous midwives asking you questions like: "Have you ever seen a child with Infant Alcohol Syndrome, Mr Iron? It's heartbreaking - and this is just the kind of article which encourages that sort of thing. You're a disgrace!"

Matrons in high dudgeon (ooh, no, Matron!) are dangerous animals, Leggy! Better watch out!

sixtypoundsaweekcleaner said...

They've got to justify their high salaries somehow...

Anonymous said...

In case you missed it - this item has been amusing me on a variety of levels.


Nicotine treatment ‘could control obesity’

"Amanda Sandford, research manager for ASH, Action on Smoking and Health, said it was already known that pure nicotine could be safely used to wean smokers off their tobacco habit.

“If nicotine could also be used to tackle obesity then it could be a valuable tool in tackling two of the most critical public health problems that we face today,” she said."
http://guardian.co.tt/lifestyle/2011/06/11/nicotine-treatment-could-control-obesity


Rose

Anonymous said...

@ Kitler "I'm sure Ayn Rand wrote characters with a similar midset"

Yep, Hank Rearden's brother if memory serves

Woman on a Raft said...

I don't remember ever seeing a pregnant woman face down in the gutter, rocking gently like a horizontal Weeble.

That's it, I haven't got any further. Got to go and mop up. Back in a jiffy.

English Pensioner said...

But 4 per cent said they did not change their drinking habits.
You hit the nail on the head here! My daughter is teetotal (not from conviction, but because she simply doesn't like alcohol), she didn't change her drinking habits whilst pregnant. It's not hard to believe that 4% of the female population never drink alcohol so why should they change their habits?
"Lies, dammed lies and Statistics"!

Anonymous said...

The joys of having kids in the 60s, never occured to us to stop smoking, even had an ashtray at my bed in hospital. Must have smoked about 100 while in labour. We did not drink a lot in those days, too expensive, but when we went out or went to parties I carried on as normal. Had two perfectly healthy kids, one of whom made it to Oxford, neither of them ever smoked - their choice. We were surrounded by smoke in those days, everywhere to say nothing of the air pollution from smog and heavy industry. No Dr. has ever been able to answer my question of why we are the longest lived generation despite all that. In the course of my work I have come across Foetal Alcohol Syndrome but only to women who were addicted to alcohol, not normal drinkers.

matron's redundant fob-watch (in mourning) said...

18:38

all joking aside, i'm afraid that matron will not be joining us tonight - in fact, it is my sad duty to inform you that, as a direct consequence of prime minister david cameron's national health service reforms, matron lost her job, and was found, earlier today, slumped and lifeless in her office, having tragically overdosed on marks and spencer's blackberry and apple pies. matron leaves twelve young children, the healthy offspring of twelve different fathers from twelve different european countries. matron's passing means not only that twelve children have lost a mother and redoubtable rôle-model, but will also, as a knock-on effect, make single parents of twelve (unemployed) men - thereby ensuring that matron's loss will, in addition, constitute a grievous loss to the tax-payer, both professionally and financially. although originally from the caribbean, you may be surprised to learn that matron was an avid supporter of the european union, and, as such, will be sorely missed by her many friends, dancing and drinking partners at the local eu sports and social club - to the ambience and conviviality of which she always contributed greatly. rip.

Leg-iron said...

Kitler - She is not alone. Obo found another one.

In Socialist Utopia,taxes pay for everything. Everyone can choose whether to work hard and give most of their earnings to the State or to not work and let the State pay for everything.

What they can't grasp is that within a week, there'll be nobody to tax.

Leg-iron said...

JuliaM - it'll get worse yet. These people cannot conceive that they might not be perfect and they cannot imagine that they could be wrong.

They don't back down and they don't compromise. Ever. It'll have to be messy, there is no other way.

Leg-iron said...

Rose - the patches and gum didn't work on smokers, so now they're trying to sell them to the overweight?

They'll be just as effective, no doubt.

nurse twatitch said...

02:21

ahaha...not so fast fob-watch...my demise was in truth the centrepiece of a carefully connived and cunning campaign of disinformation designed to confuse mr cameron and cause him to drop his guard...thus allowing the conspiracy hatched by cloaked members of 'the consultancy' to take effect and to take power.

for yes, it is i, nurse twatitch...and i bring you great news of a community co-ordinated counter-cut operation, which was mounted by myself and some crack para-medical colleagues in order to remove the current bum of a prime minister and usher in a matron state. you guessed it folks, there's been a coup by the nhs and david cameron is now under permanent bed-arrest in a secure military infirmary, in a secret location in london. he has received an interrogatory grade-a blanket-wash, from yours truly, which has had the desired effect of rendering him completely speechless and compliant. i will now proceed to administer him a vaccination every two seconds for the next five years - and see how he likes it. the revolution will not be televized, but if that's what the public wants, then who're we to refuse them. good night.

Anonymous said...

LI

I can't quite believe that they have just thrown away decades of effort to change what they perceived to be a popular opinion, just to expand the nicotine market.

Only last year -

Smoking will not make you slim - 2010
"London, April 25 (IANS) Millions of Britons who smoke to stay slim are risking their health for nothing because smokers tend to be fatter, say scientists.
The popular notion that cigarettes stop you eating has been debunked, with experts saying that people who have never smoked tend to be thinner, reports express.co.uk.

The study is likely to shock many die-hard smokers, especially girls who were influenced by images of waif-like models such as Kate Moss drawing on a cigarette. These images had helped to perpetuate the notion that smoking keeps you trim."
http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/health1/smoking-will-not-make-you-slim_100353428.html


Rose

nurse twatitch (charitable outreach to those in need) said...

05:21

as a gesture of goodwill, mr cameron's care-services will, naturally, all be provided free at the point of delivery.

Slamlander said...

http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/health1/smoking-will-not-make-you-slim_100353428.html


Actually, nicotine, most notably delivered as an inhalent and taken in combination with caffine (coffee), is an effective appetite supressant. The sad bit is that people don't just eat when they are hungry. They also eat when they are not hungry.

Therefore, the practice should be combined with strict policies of only eating when actually hungry. Amazing, that ;)

quackso jabberwocky said...

05:21, 13:21

well, matron, you are clearly committed to delivering the highest possible standards of care, no matter what the track-record of the individual patient concerned...and to be honest, here at vial concoction hq we're not particularly bothered where you stick the meds, or exactly who receives them, just as long as you continue to buy the multi-billion dollar batches from our brewery...although, to be fair, i did consider a bit excessive david cameron's proposal to blow all the campaign funds on vaccinating one poor african child, indeed, some might even construe this as cruel - i can only assume that the patient in question must have been a very naughty boy...did he refuse to play ball with mr cameron and his friends, perhaps? anyhow, now that the needle is in the other hand, would you ask the prime minister to consider purchasing prosthetic limbs for all those little children mutilated by the side-effects of western-warfare in iraq, afghanistan, palestine, libya, ivory coast etc etc...? oh forget it, our company doesn't manufacture that type of product, does it? hmmm...of course, if the vaccination programme had gone ahead as scheduled in africa and other parts of the third world, there would have been unlimited opportunity for all those unsterilized hypodermics to have been illegally recycled and re-used unofficially, thus facilitating the spread of awful diseases such as aids, hepatitis, tuberculosis and so forth...leading to an unspeakably dire situation which pharmaceutical conglomerates like ourselves could subsequently have exploited to the full by selling the future afflicted of africa further generations of drugs of dubious effectiveness...but oh well, i suppose the world can't be perfect, can it now...?

Anonymous said...

The other possibility is they might feed them cytisine, Tabex,on which Chantix is supposed to be partly based.


Quitting smoking makes you fat, and now scientists know why

"The smoking cessation drug cytisine, which is sold in Eastern Europe, also triggered this brain effect on eating in this study. Developing specific drugs to do the same thing could prove to be tricky, though. The same receptors that react this way to nicotine help control the way the body deals with stress."
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-20070485-10391704.html

No cytisine isn't a "smoking cessation drug", its the poison in the Laburnum tree.


Rose

Anonymous said...

The idea for nicotine patches came from two scientists studying green tobacco sickness.

Testing on themselves, those haunting words -

"Our heart rates increased, adrenaline began pumping, all the things that happen to smokers."


Green Tobacco Sickness in Tobacco Harvesters

"Green tobacco sickness (GTS) is an illness resulting from dermal exposure to dissolved nicotine from wet tobacco leaves; it is characterized by nausea, vomiting, weakness, and dizziness and sometimes fluctuations in blood pressure or heart rate"
http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00020119.htm

Scientists though they were, I don't think they can have been too familiar with the concept of transformation by fire.


Rose

sir trev phrillips (sleepwalking into euro-centricism) said...

fob-watch, 02:21

what a demeaning, degrading, sterotypical portrayal of my caribbean sistaz. please, please...from my personal experience, i can assure you that, by-and-large, the modern generations of caribbean women usually restrict themselves to no more than two picknies, and the traditional larger families born to the older generations were strictly conceived within the framework of stable matrimony. this comment was clearly written from a prejudicial african perspective - and most probably by some misguided person who is labouring under the ignorant influence of the jocelyn esien doctrine of radical femino-afro-centricism, or some such similar school of anti-social thought. i am appalled and aghast. let there be an end to this profligant perversity.

ps:

does anyone have matron's phone-number? (i think i could be in there)

dr chris pock said...

14:28

mmm...a most interesting clinical analysis, professor quackso...indeed, a problematic side-effect associated with our esteemed western governments' historic policy of prescribing the subjection, to permanent war, famine, poverty, disease, and exploitation, of continents such as africa, is the general tendency for those individuals who survive into adulthood to be, by necessity, definition, default, and completely accidental design, a bonny bouncing bunch of pretty resilient tough-nuts...and there is in fact now presenting itself strong evidence to suggest that the continuing neo-conservative, or (if you will) neo-colonialist, brand of imperialism, impudently imposed by the current united states administration, has inadvertently led to the creation of a nascent race of supaniggaz...such as, for example, crafty qadaffi, who appears to have developed a natural biological resistance to every form of ordnance, ammunition and projectile known to the pentagon - although tragically, of course, the majority of the hard-nosed leader's libyan countrymen have alas not been thus smiled-upon by lady fortune, and are still perishing in their thousands...and all because the president of the united states and his chums can't afford the crotchety old colonel's oil-price, and want to knock down him down a bit. indeed, to the casual observer, it seems very much as if the western allies are attempting to vaccinate mother africa with a combination-strike of cruise missiles in order to mess-up her immune system and irreparably reduce her defensive capabilities - whilst over here, simultaneous counterweight promises of public health-care, internal and foreign, have been duplicitously devized to buy-off the populations of western nations, and to weaken them both morally, financially and physically. the innocuous yet insidiously corrupting welfare-state is ours for the taking - all we have to do (to keep our side of the bargain) is turn a blindly-ignorant-eye to our political hegemony's nasty greedy little wars of obscene opportunism. blood-money? you bet it is.

as many commentators and writers have already mooted: is it not within the reservoirs of christian kindness to divert the billion-upon-billion dollars of slush-funds ear-marked for invasive and manipulative 'vaccination' programs, and, instead (of irrigating the bulging bank-balances of the clubhouse multi-national pharmaceutical corporations), employ the resources to construct pandemic-preventatitve public water-and-sewage systems? well no, obviously this is not an option: civil engineering projects are labour-intensive and would provide jobs to millions of indigenous africans - however, as we are fully aware, with the exception of one particular character with a first-rate line in world-beating waffle who was force-fed fortune-cookies by his wife and family-friends, the united states government does not place the employment of black people very high up its agenda, and its not-very-affirmative-action certainly doesn't extend to the distant shores of africa. alternatively, protectionist inter-continental trade-barriers could be dismantled - thus allowing the growth of african commerce, prosperity and the self-generated economic independence which would empower local communities with the choice of setting their own health-spending priorities...but no, don't be silly...we can't have africans making decisions for themselves, can we? whatever next? let's just concentrate on using infants as pin-cushions - it's the traditional way.

dr christopher pock said...

14:28

i suppose the world can't be perfect, can it now...?

mmm...a most interesting clinical analysis...but on the contrary, my dear professor quackso, a positively humanitarian side-effect associated with our esteemed western governments' historic policy of prescribing the subjection, to permanent war, famine, poverty, disease, and exploitation, of continents such as africa, is the general tendency for those individuals who survive into adulthood to be, by necessity, definition, default, and by completely unintelligent accidental design, a bonny bouncing bunch of pretty resilient tough-nuts...and there is in fact now presenting itself strong evidence to suggest that the continuing neo-conservative, or (if you will) neo-colonialist, brand of imperialism, impudently imposed by the current united states administration, has, albeit inadvertently, led to the creation of a nascent super-race of superenhanced supersmart supernifty supaniggaz...such as, for example, crafty qadaffi, who appears to have developed a natural biological resistance to every form of ordnance, ammunition and projectile known to the pentagon - although tragically, of course, the majority of the hard-nosed leader's libyan countrymen have alas not been likewise smiled-upon by lady fortune, and are still perishing in their thousands under nato's homeopathic bombardment...and all because the president of the united states and his chums can't afford the crotchety old colonel's oil-price, and want to knock down him down a bit...but fear not, if we give the intervention more time and more depleted uranium weaponry, i am convinced that the remaining libyan citizens will also progress to evolve the advanced genetic superstructure required to survive utter obliteration by ariel assault.

however, i grant you, to the uneducated casual or lay observer, it may seem very much as if the western allies are attempting to vaccinate mother africa with a combination-strike of cruise missiles in order to contaminate and degrade her immune system, and are ultimately aiming to irreparably reduce her environmental defence capabilities - whilst, over here, on the other hand, one might very easily gain the false impression that our presidents and prime ministers are simultaneously propagandizing with co-ordinated counterweight promises of internal and foreign public health-care, duplicitously devized to buy-off the the populations of western nations, and consequently weaken them, both morally, financially and physically. indeed, there are even those sceptics who regard the welfare-state as an innocuous yet insidiously corrupting influence, which we receive in the manner of blood-money - on the condition that we turn a blindly-ignorant-eye to our political hegemony's nasty greedy little wars of obscene opportunism...but fortunately, such views are only known to emanate from the mental institutions in which our notional health service thoughtfully houses the severely deranged.

(continued)

dr christopher pock (continued) said...

moreover, and you may be shocked by the suggested impudence thereof, but many commentators and writers have been observed to moot the following question: is it not within the reservoirs of christian kindness to divert the billion-upon-billion dollars of slush-funds ear-marked for invasive and manipulative 'vaccination' programs, and, instead (of irrigating the bulging bank-balances of the clubhouse multi-national pharmaceutical corporations), simply employ the resources to construct pandemic-preventatitve public water-and-sewage systems? well, no, obviously this is not a viable option: civil engineering projects are labour-intensive and would provide jobs to millions of indigenous africans - yet, as we are fully aware, with the exception of one particular character with a first-rate line in world-beating waffle who was force-fed fortune-cookies by his wife and family-friends, the united states government does not place the employment of black people very high up its agenda, and its not-very-affirmative-action certainly doesn't extend to the distant shores of africa - this historic situation being explained mainly by the fact that africans and african-americans have, over the years, already been the beneficiaries of trillions of tax-payers dollars via their exposure to the afore-mentioned accelerated super-humanization scheme run by the military (would that we were all lucky enough to be selected for such special treatment). alternatively, according to our loony liberal literati, protectionist inter-continental trade-barriers could be dismantled - thus allowing the growth of african commerce, prosperity and the self-generated economic independence which would empower local communities, who best understand their own problems, with the choice of setting their own health-spending priorities...but again, no, don't be silly...whatever next? we can't have africans making decisions for themselves, can we? ordinary folk aren't allowed such liberties in the west, so frankly, to grant africans this privilege would create a grossly uneven playing-field...and, in any event, the racial ecology of our globe is now suffering from such serious imbalance (due to the excessive quantities of previously accumulated positive discriminaton) that it is clearly imperative to level the odds by vaccinating africans against their own good health, just as we do unto ourselves. let us, therefore, concentrate on using innocent brown infants as political pin-cushions - it is, after all's said and done, the traditional way.

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