...by having a beer.
Yes, never mind the bullets or the bombs, forget death or dismemberment, the real risk of soliderhood is having a fat bum from drinking a bit more than is allowed. The horror!
I've never been in a war (rated Z-get-out-you-useless-article on the military scale of fitness) but if I was, and if I escaped with no more than a rounder backside to show for it, I'd be pretty chuffed, to be honest.
This is, of course, the latest insanity from the gibbering idiots we have allowed to take charge of us. Soldiers face bullets and explosions, they risk death or debilitation and they are paid far less than the pompous lardasses who sit at home with their maps and their little toy tanks. Already they are told that smoking is worse for them than bullets, and now it seems that coming home with chubby buttocks is worse than coming home in a box. Odd set of priorities our leaders have there, don't you think?
No matter how many calories a soldier consumes, they'll be burnt off. They could live on lard and Guinness and not get fat. Oh, but we can't let that get in the way of the Puritan Directive.
Binge drinking for men is defined as drinking more than eight units of alcohol, or about three pints of strong beer. For women, it is drinking more than six units of alcohol, equivalent to two large glasses of wine.
Define it how you like. I've polished off half a bottle of Napoleon brandy tonight and I'm now on the Glayva (no proper whisky in the house). I have no military training but if someone breaks in now, I have a handy poker that says they won't be leaving tonight and I can still swing it fast. I also have abbatoir skills that say they won't be leaving all at once. I'm sure a bigger, fitter soldier could handle far more booze than me and still be capable of popping a Taliban turban pin at five hundred yards.
Look, I know our dozy rulers can't figure out that we out here in the Real World just want to be left alone but really, if you're asking someone to risk their lives for a cause that Barry O'Blimey's government don't even appreciate, the very least you can do is let them spend their limited leisure time in any way they see fit.
Soldiers face down tanks and guns and turbaned ruffians every day. If you're going to ban their smokes and limit their beer on the utterly ridiculous premise that 'it risks their health' you can shove it where the sun don't shine and set fire to it, then put out the fire with a broken bottle filled with bleach.
Drink on, soldiers, and remember, if anyone tries to stop you, you're the only ones who have guns now.
You'll find you have no shortage of alibis.