I am fifty. It just happened a few hours ago and I missed it. So I am past the legal age for a smoker, drinker, salt user and red meat eater. I expect they'll come for me at dawn.
In the meantime...
A horse walks into a bar, sits down on a stool and orders a drink. The waiter brings the drink and puts it in front of the horse. "So," says the barman, "why the long face?"
"Yeah," says the horse. "I'll tell you why the long face. I've been coming into this bar for this lame joke fifty years or more, and now I can't even have a smoke."
Picked up from a forum. Others have noticed...
Happy Birthday Leggy!
ReplyDeleteI'm only two trips around the sun behind you and chasing hard!
CR.
happy birthday oldjun
ReplyDeletekeep puffing, posters are getting emailed from work to global contacts :)
Ta. I have, once more, passed the legal limit for pretty much everything at my age. Overflowing ashtray and underflowing whisky bottle.
ReplyDeleteFor tomorrow I have saved up another really big cigar and another bottle of Glenlivet. I hope everyone buys me booze.
There is no guarantee of a coherent post tomorrow.
Since I'm still awake, I'd better offer my congrats also.
ReplyDeleteMore ash on your keyboard;
more strain on your liver;
more power to your arm.
Happy Birthday, buddy.
I can only echo the sentiments of Salted.
ReplyDeleteMore power to the Mighty Leg-Iron, may the Righteous tremble at his keystrokes.
Happy Birthday, L-I!
ReplyDeleteIllegitimi non carborundum, mate!
Fish x
Many happy returns! :)
ReplyDelete^
ReplyDeleteWhat the great Julia said. Enjoy :)
Happy Birthday ..
ReplyDeleteHere's one for you ..
A white horse walked into a bar and the barman said .. "Here, we've got a whisky named after you" ..
And the horse said "Wot, Eric" ?
Happy Birthday, LI,
ReplyDeleteI've got three years to go.
You're only as old as you feel.
Do you share your birthday with anyone famous?
A dyslexic Horse walks into a bra...
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Leg-Iron
Happy fifty L-I.
ReplyDeleteCheers!
Happy birthday,Leggy! 50 eh? How dare you defy all the Righteous's doom-laden odds like that!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday Leggy. On the day the Lord has risen from the dead aswell. Is it a sign ?
ReplyDeleteSadly like me you've passed the age where people can say at your funeral " aye all the best ones die young".
Happy Birthday Leggy!
ReplyDeleteCongrats Leggy, I'll bake a cake in your honour.
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday, "sonny".. :-)
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday old chap. Enjoy the steak and cigar!
ReplyDeleteSo I am past the legal age for a smoker, drinker, salt user and red meat eater. I expect they'll come for me at dawn.
ReplyDelete"Leg-Iron's Run" - a modern sci-fi classic of one man battling against a dystopian nightmare.
Happy 50th mate.
Happy Birthday Leg Iron
ReplyDeleteI have knocked up a poster called I Know My Place from the old sketch, it's on my blog hope its up to standard if not then ignore.
Yours
The Boggart
Jesus, I never knew actual people lived to 50. Well done, and enjoy the whisky.
ReplyDeleteMmmm ... Leg-iron, you're hard on my heels ! ...
ReplyDeleteHorse walks into a bar and orders a Pint and a large Whisky
Barman says "that'll be £25; by the way, we ummm, don't get many horses in here, you know" ...
Horse says "at these prices, I'm not bloody well surprised !" ...
Many happy returns, Leggy.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, Leg-Iron!
ReplyDeleteCheers!
@Mr Eugenides: Jesus, I never knew actual people lived to 50.
ReplyDeleteOy! I'm 61 in a couple of weeks you cheeky little fucker!
Happy Birthday till ye, I'm 4 years behind you, the age bracket when you begin to notice that people in the workplace are younger than your belt, watch, and motorcycle.
ReplyDeleteNow that you're fifty expect:
ReplyDelete- brochures from SAGA
- brochures from Stannah
- letters from the NHS inviting you for check-ups that you didn't need one day ago and which, if you accept, will give the Righteous more money in their pocket.
Many Happy Returns.
Jay
Congratulations, young man.
ReplyDeleteWhat everyone else said.
ReplyDeleteFifty Leggy? ... well done sir!
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday LI
ReplyDeleteHeartiest commiserations Mr Iron.
ReplyDeleteI remember how I felt when my liver turned 80.
Happy birthday sir!
ReplyDeleteHappy Birthday LI. you're catching me up :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks to all. Now I have to pause in the drinking to let my liver grow back.
ReplyDeleteI'm being sparing with the Penderyn. It's not too expensive (although at around £35 a bottle it's not cheap either!) but it's hard to get here.
Visitors leave tomorrow, and then I can get that smoke war fired up properly.